How Can it Be?

Seriously. Who are these people still playing poker at any online site that still allows play for U.S. players? I mean, I am certainly no stranger to addictions, and I understand how that all works, and I guess that is a lot of what is at work here. But I mean, I've probably spent as much time playing online poker as anyone reading this over the past five years, and if anyone was going to be feeling the itch to find a way to play after the sudden and final actions of Black Friday a few weeks ago, it would probably have been me. And in fact, I've spent a good deal of time thinking about my summer plans, and other opportunities I might be able to make for myself to play some live poker, be it in New Jersey, Connecticut or otherwise. But nowhere along the way have I even spent more than a few seconds debating playing at UB or Bodog at this point -- even though they are theoretically permitting U.S.-based players to still access their servers -- nor downloading one of these smaller skins like Carbon, Cake, Titan, etc. who are still apparently open for U.S. players. And I am realllly struggling to understand what goes in to anyone out there making that decision.

Let me put it this way. Bodog has always been run by known scumbags in Calvin Ayre and friends, and with how hard it has pretty much always been to deposit into and withdraw from Bodog, playing there at this point seems like a complete waste of time. And UB is even crazier, as they are apparently allowing U.S. players to play, but will not process any withdrawals to any U.S. players, and what's more, UB continues to fail to enter into a domain name agreement with the U.S. government as have full tilt and pokerstars, so there seems to me to be a good chance that UB has no intention whatsoever of returning any of the funds in anyone's accounts on that client. And with the smaller sites, how can anybody feel any comfort whatsoever that they will ever be able to get money in to, and in particular out of, those sites, given what has happened to online poker regulation in the U.S. over the past few weeks?

I mean, I'm all for playing poker for low stakes if that's what you like, but I'll say again now what I've said since the very first time anyone ever asked me about playing poker for play money -- poker is simply not actually poker if there is absolutely nothing at stake. There's just no way to get people to play the game with 100% the same care, attention and simultaneously the same measure of caution if the player ultimately stands to lose (or gain) no real money from his or her moves and decisions. And, a corollary of this is that, if you can't actually ever get your hands on the money, then what the hell are you really playing for? The "sport"? The "fun of it"? What's the best that can happen? You win some big tournament, say it's even your biggest all-time online poker score, and then what? You already know you can't ever get that money!! So I ask again, how the hell can you be playing for "real money" at that site to begin with?

Face it, guys. I know there is a lot of desire out there, in particular among those reading this blog, to get back on the virtual felt and play some online poker. And I know a lot of you never really played for particularly high stakes to begin with. But playing at the remaining sites that still offer access to U.S.-based players in this environment is more or less the same exact thing as playing for play-money on stars or full tilt, in terms of what cash you could ever actually get out of the site. The only difference is, by playing on a place like Cake or Carbon at this point, you're putting up real money to do so in terms of deposits, while in terms of withdrawals you're still basically dealing with play money as you'll never actually see a dime. Not to mention that you're playing on a site that is subject to being shut down and taken over by the U.S. government at any time on no notice.

Given this, I think only a chump would put actual money into online poker at this point if you're coming from the United States. Is there any other reasonable conclusion?

Too Stupid to be Believed

As a lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan, Monday was a super fun day.

For starters, Mike Vick is hands down the best quarterback in the NFL. Nobody can even argue it, and even though the guy had six touchdowns yesterday and a passer rating of roughly infinity, he was already the league's best before yesterday's game. Vick came into the Eagles' Monday night romp over the Deadskins with a 125.4 passer rating, the highest in the league, and he's the closest thing to literally unstoppable of any player in the league today. And then he threw four touchdown passes in DC on Monday night. In like five minutes. And he ran for two more, in addition to countless first downs. Basically every time Vick touches the ball, he does whatever the hell he wants. And as I've written here before many times, Vick is for my money the single best feel-good story of the year in the NFL in 2010. Yes what he did to those dogs is truly sick and nothing will ever change that, but Mike Vick is the ultimate example of a guy who in my view more than paid his debt to society, he missed more games than anyone else has ever missed for committing lesser crimes than his, and ultimately the guy who never hurt another human being paid an incredible price compared to what other rich and famous dudes who actually hurt other actual people have paid. And now he's back, and the amazing thing is he is much better right now than he ever was even before being incarcerated for two years. Just incredible.

Secondly, I heard the Eagles just scored another touchdown this morning. I mean, 59 points? Really, Redskins? Really, Mike Shanahan? Any time we can beat the Mehskins, it's a good day, and when you do it in their house it is all the better. And when you run up a 28-0 lead in the first quarter, that's the best of all. For those not well-versed with the intricacies of the NFC East, over my lifetime, it's been the Redskins more than anyone else who have given the Eagles the most trouble. Even when the Eagles were so great under Buddy Ryan in the 1980s, and all through the '90s and the 2000s, we've had comparatively little trouble with the Giants, even as that franchise has had three superbowl winning teams in the past 20 years or so. Despite all that, we've fared well over time against the Giants, but the Redskins have always given us fits. I have more horrible memories of Skins games than any other team for sure, and to come out and roll this team that badly, there are no words to describe how good that feels as a longtime fan of the real Gang Green.

But lastly, by far the most highlarious and enjoyable for me part of Monday wasn't watching Mike Vick's coronation, and it wasn't seeing the Eagles destroy our hated franchise competitor. It was the news that came out just before the game that the Foreskins had signed former Eagles qb Donovan McNabb to a 5-year, $88 million extension, on the heels of far and away his worst season since his rookie year in 1999. I mean, Daniel Snyder, are you trying to embarrass yourself? Are you deliberately attempting to further your image of the spoiled rich kid who throws money at any old fool who somebody once thought might be good at this game? When I first saw this headline, I thought no big deal, this is the NFL, they can put whatever number they want on the contract like $88 million and in the end, as soon as McNabb continues sucking, they'll just cut him. I mean, it's not like they're guaranteeing him a lot of this money, obviously -- not literally less than one game after Mike Shanahan benched his ass heading into the 2-minute drill in a crucial game with his team down by 5 points and needing a touchdown to win, right? Right?

Wrong! $40 million is guaranteed to McNabb under this new contract. So let's see. Last year the team paid $100 million to sign Albert Haynesworth, who has started exactly zero games this season and who isn't even any longer in the team's starting defensive package since he "is just not good enough to play the 4-3 defense". Now this year, their division rivals obviously duped them in landing two draft picks in exchange for trading them an aged Donovan McNabb, while all along they had not one but two qb's on the staff who were already far and away better players at this point in their careers, including one who is hands down the best quarterback in the league, and McNabb is following through with the worst full season of his career, so bad that he needed to get benched for the crucial final drive of the game in the Skins' last outing. And then they guarantee McNabb $40 million over the next five years? This can't be serious, can it? I keep waiting for Daniel Snyder or Mike Shanahan to come out and yell "April Fools!" or something, and yet with every passing minute it just seems more and more likely that the Dreadskins are actually going to be paying this guy $40 million guaranteed, plus as much as another $43 million on top over the next five years, to keep throwing the ball into the ground, throwing more interceptions than touchdowns like this season, and giving his team no chance like he did on Monday after three more turnovers including two pick-6s to help the Eagles on their march towards 60 points on the night.

Could Monday have gone any better for Eagles fans, I ask you?