The Tiltanator

I came in 1st and 2nd in two 6x12s to start my evening off last night, which was some nice and much needed coin in my ever-dwindling pokerstars account, with my $345 win for my 6th place finish in the large $10 buyin tourney last week already feeling like just a distant memory (and most of the money I won there). Anyways that was it for the good part of my evening poker-wise. Unfortunately, I didn't know this, so after the two lucrative 6x12s, I also played the large $10 tourney which had 1050 entrants. I was felted in that tournament in like 243rd place when my 99 "ran into" 22 for all my chips against a guy I had "weakweakweak" read on, and a 2 came on the turn. Gotta love the 2-outers.

After that, I tilted.

Honestly, I am the WORST tilter I know. I dont run into worse tilters than me when I play online. EVER. Seriously. I am THE WORST tilter I have ever seen. I finally realize that I am not only WORSE than Hellmuth, Matusow, etc., but I am FAR worse than them. Those two guys get just as pizzy as me following a bad beat (or in Matusow's case, even one or a series of bad plays by him), but even though they may play a little off after the steam incident, neither of them plays anywhere NEAR as bad as I do when on tilt. And its ridick for me to keep playing under those circumstances. Tiltwise, I'm not nearly as bad (but still not great) on the other sites. It's just that, as my readers know, I just have SO little trust in pokerstars, I'm SO sure its rigged, that when it keeps happening to me and I keep losing money, I completely lose control and become consumed with hateful, satanic-style rage.

This is how bad my tilt is. I HONESTLY cannot tell you any specifics of what happened pokerwise after my tilt in the $10 tourney. I know I had intended to play and fail to cash in a 180 sng like every night, but I have no memory of actually doing that. I guess I never got around to that. My buddy V and I also played an 18 person sng, and I remember I got busted fairly early in like 12th place, though I cant remember the specifics of the situation, which is not uncommon for me when I'm really overcome with tilty hatred. I do remember that it involved the other guy really hitting a flop strong, and that also happening to be a flop that i elected to bluff strong into, which is NOT a good situation. I'm an aggressive player, and I've taken Doyle's advice to hear in that I'll go and TAKE a pot (several pots each tournament) where I have nothing but I know no one else has anything they're willing to sink a lot of money into defending. Anyways, the point is, I literally was SEETHING the entire way through that 18-person sng, so much that I cant recall ONE specific hand that happened in the entire thing.

Same story with the WWdN blogger tourney last night at 11:30pm ET. I actually made it through to 23rd out of 42 entrants before busting. But my lord I hardly remember anything specific that happened, I was just still so angry about the 4 to 1 beat I had taken when doing very well in the $10 tourney. I think the fact that I final-tabled that event last week has made me feel somehow a little more ENTITLED to respect in that tournament, like I'm the Michael Jordan of that event, and the cards ought to give me some breaks that they wouldn't otherwise give to other players. But that 2-outer beat fairly deep into in the earlier tourney just completely wiped me out mentally, and fully tilted me for the rest of the night.

So, what do I do to fix this little recurring problem? Automatically shut down for the night once I've been bad beat one time? That can't be the right answer.