Anger

I am pissed. Really, really pissed. I'm going through another one of those "variance" phases where I am just getting chewed up and spit out regularly. It's like the poker sites are literally going out of their way to create increasingly unbelievable beats for me. And, I get more play from donkeys lately than Miss Hee-Haw 2006, which is never a good thing.

Tonight I played the 16k guaranteed on full tilt for the first time. I played great. Not just good, but really great. I bluffed people off of pots, I played my super strong hands in the best possible way, extracting all of several players' chips while I rode to a top 10% place as of the first break. Even after suffering two looptid beats early in Round 2, I was still in 118th out of 292 remaining (top 81 to be paid out) when my flush ran into not a boat, but QUAD 9s. Okay, okay you say, everyone runs into quads eventually if you play a lot, which I do. But then just NINE HANDS LATER, my flopped trips ran into QUADS AGAIN, this time Queens. WTF?!! After my two quadruple anal probings, I was short, so about ten hands later when I found 22 in last position with no one yet to call before me, I pushed. And got called by AQ. So at least I was a slight favorite to get back a solid chip stack. But NO, Q96 on the river, of COURSE no help for me, and I'm out in 238th place. This tournament was about as good as I can play in one of these things, and I'm still here bitching in the blog afterwards. Not the way I want to play in the last week heading into my million dollar guaranteed tournament on party this Saturday at 4:30pm ET. Right now my confidence is as low as it's been since my recockulous streak of bad beats on pokerstars late in 2005. It is increasingly hard to keep putting up actual money to play in these tournaments where lately I just don't feel like I have a chance of winning. Dam I hate going to sleep pissed like this.