The $20,000 Donkey

OK guys this is it. The post you've all been waiting for. Hope you're reading, xkm. Nijle, I hope you're out there. Because last night, I played like true donkey and busted out of the 20k early and often. Part of me didn't even want to post this this morning, out of sheer embarrassment, but you know what? I committed to covering my 20k bustout hands for a bit, and what am I going to do, only post my "noble" eliminations but not my lameass ones? I'm not trying to be dishonest here, and I'm not writing this blog to toot my own horn that much. I'm trying to give a true-to-life window into my daily comings and goings at the game of poker, and last night really did happen. So here goes:

We are once again in the first half hour of the 20k. I am just about even, not having received any good hands yet and only having been able to play one or two hands out of the blinds for cheap, and then folding after the flop did not hit my weak starting hand. Then I look down to find pocket 3's. UTG folds, but the next player limps for the 30 chip big blind. I choose to do the same, with a stack of just over 1500. There is one more MP limper, but then the button kicks it up more than 6x to 195. Before I know it, here's the situation facing me:



I think I should have folded here. As I look at it now, odds were decent already that I was up against a hand that had me dominated with a higher pair. With a hand as lousy as pocket 3's and little chance of avoiding seeing a flop at this point, I should have laid it down here and saved my chips for a better situation where there was less strength already being showed before the flop even came out. Instead, though, I allowed myself to be blinded by the whole Implied Odds thing. I reasoned, if I hit my trips, I should be able to take down a big pot here with a little luck. And hey, it's only 165 more chips, right? Bad move.

The flop comes J74 with two suited cards. There is 675 in the pot, and three players including myself in middle position of the three. UTG checks, and this is where I utterly, uberly screwed up:



I still can't believe I did this. And I can't explain it, other than to say that I like to act when my opponents show weakness, and I thought I might take it down here with a pot-sized bet. Of course, in retrospect I had put one of these guys on a strong hand already preflop, so then for me to bet at this raggy flop with just an underpair to the board, I mean, what a wasteful, silly, stoopid play. And I got what I deserved:



In a strange, sick way, it felt kinda good laying this hand down here. I mean, I threw up in my mouth again, but after that it felt good. I need to be kept in line and reminded that I'm not just a chip-eating machine on the virtual felt. Ever since I've learned to play aggressive holdem, I am constantly struggling not to be donkey-aggro, but rather just regular aggro. Well, this wasn't it, and I got told by a guy I'm sure had a higher pocket pair than I. I knew AK was a possibility, but I had to lay it down there and not compound my donkery by monkey-calling his pocket 9's or 10's and getting eliminated right there.

As I sat there after the above hand, thinking through how I was ever going to be able to spin this on the blog here today without looking like a complete donkass, I found AKo and got a guy to push allin with his short stack for about a third of my remaining chips with ATo. Unfortunately, a Ten came on the river, and I was down to just over 400 chips remaining. And it was gettin pretty steamy over at the Hammer Household. As I sat there, fighting against tilt but never really believing I could come back after that suckout when I really needed the chips, I was dealt T9s in the SB, and figured I'd make my move with some high suited connectors, in a situation where I knew I would find two callers so I knew I could triple up with a hand that was unlikely to be dominated:



Yes, I know, this was also a dumb play, going up against a 4.5x preflop raiser from early position with the UTG player having already limped, and a guy who had already called this 180-chip raise. Dumb play, no doubt. But don't forget, I was hoyadonk yesterday, and this is how hoyadonk plays the game. Well, I got what I deserved once again:



up against pocket Kings, dominated after all. And IGH, too early to even pay attention to the number.

I can't even count the ways that I went wrong here. Obviously, the push on the checked flop when I had already put my opponent on a strong hand preflop was moronic. I always focus on going with my reads, and in this case, that was my read but yet I ignored it. It's like I was blinded in the desperate chase for chips, and I thought maybe I could steal 675 of them because a guy I already thought was strong, took a move that clearly portrayed weakness. It was a total amateur move to fall for on my part after he had raised it up more than 6x preflop despite several early limpers. And just as much, even though I was very short, with blinds at 20-40 I still had plenty of time to wait for a better hand to push with than T9s against a limper, raiser and caller already in preflop. I played like a child all around in this event, and I'm here to say it to the world. So revel in it -- this won't happen often.

On to other things, congratulations to 23skidoo for taking down the Mondays at the Hoy tournament last night:



Last night's tournament went fairly quick, and featured me getting allin when dominated to go out in 11th place out of 20 players. Ski took home $200 for his efforts, with first-time Hoyer thret winning second prize and $120, and Phin City coming in 3rd for $80, Phin's third Hoy cash in the last five weeks. Congratulations to all of our cashers, in particular to Skidoo who won it all, maybe even for the second time. Ski plays a particular brand of aggressive poker, always pushing and always taking stabs at pots when others have shown weakness. Personally I always enjoy seeing aggressive players like Ski win the blogger events. Ski plays aggro hard and he plays aggro well, to much success in the regular blogger events where I know Ski has recorded several victories over the past few months.

What else....OK so in a bizarre turn of events, LaDainian Tomlinson came through for me last night with about 150 total yards and a score, and, more importantly, Randy Moss also came through by sucking it up to the tune of just 4 catches for 47 yards, and the end result is that, even after yesterday's rant, all three of my fantasy football teams won this weekend. I scored the most points in KJ's blogger league this week, something which I predict that league will be seeing a lot of, and as I mentioned I also managed to beat my boy Aquaverse in my own league to start the season off right. What's more, my beloved Phildelphia Eagles took over sole possession of first place in the NFC East, otherwise known as the greatest division in the NFL this season, after last night's laughable loss by the Redskins to the lowly Minnesota Vikings.

Now that it's over, I'd like to end today with my lasting thoughts on Week 1 of the NFL season:

The Cowboys looked bad. Very blah. TO seems older, heavier, less dominant. And Drew Bledsoe is such an awful decision-maker under pressure. I predict within 1 or 2 more games, tops, TO is going to blow his top at Drew Bledsoe, and we will once again be treated to some classic TO blowups on the sidelines on game day. TO at Bledsoe, TO at his O-coordinator, and eventually TO at Bill Parcells. And I can't wait.

The Redskins looked good at times, but not great. It's so hard to say after just week 1, but the Eagles really could be the second-best team in the NFC East. The Cowboys and Redskins certainly did nothing to impress me otherwise this past weekend.

How awful are the Green Bay Packers going to be this year? Man, Bret Favre should have retired not one but two seasons ago, or at least gotten out of Green Bay. Right now, Favre is reduced to playing like The Living Interception, and with no running game and no go-to receivers on that team, it's going to be a long season along the lake in the upper midwest.

What's up with the Panthers losing to Atlanta at home? I know Steve Smith didn't play, but since when does a team lose that much ground without just their #1 wide receiver in the game? Never fear though, because John Fox remains one of the top handful of coaches in the NFL, and he always likes to start slow but finish strong. Look for Carolina to be around at the end in the NFC.

You know who else looked great this weekend? Chad Pennington, who threw a few touchdowns and also recorded the highest quarterback rating of the week. The Chargers defense, who recorded nine sacks on their way to dominating the crap out of new Raiders QB Aaron Brooks. And speaking of which, remember when Randy Moss used to be a playmaker? What the hell happened to that guy?

OK well that's all for today. Please be sure to enjoy my donkery from the 20k last night. I do not plan to have many hands like that to show you here. But I do plan to play in the WWdN tournament, which is tonight at 8:30pm ET on pokerstars. Wil Wheaton hosts every Tuesday night under the private tab, password is "monkey" as always. See you then.