Vacation

It's vacation time again for the Hammer Family. This week we are packing up and taking the girls on their first real vacation since they are both what I would consider "grown up", at least to some degree. And by that I mean at least that they will remember this trip for more than a few weeks after we return home. I mean, we took a trip to the Southwest a couple of years ago -- I actually remember watching the very end of the Mookie at night from our living room -- but my little one was just a mere babe, sleeping in the crib in the bathroom as I recall while we tiptoed around desperately trying to avoid waking her up. This week, we're going tropical on their asses, heading to the Caribbean for a week to get away from it all, relax and show the girls a good time in the islands as it has gotten effing cold in a hurry here in New York.

"Getting away from it all" has really taken on new meaning this year. I've written quite a bit about this over the past several months, but from a stress perspective and just generally considering all the things I have had to worry about in 2008, this is easily the worst year I've had since, well, since I don't know. High school maybe? The year I was born was tough too, come to think of it. I mean, I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, I didn't even know where I was or who I was. 0 was definitely a rough year. But 2008 is right up there with the worst of 'em. I am definitely one of the lucky ones who has a solid family situation with a great family and a bunch of A+ friends who have been there for me all through this year. And lord knows it could have been much worse, with me narrowly escaping the Lehman Brothers situation just weeks before the bankruptcy declaration, and I probably could have easily lost my job a couple of times over the past several months if things didn't go the right way. But between having it out with my boss to start off calendar year 2008, interviewing and getting job offers from two companies whose stocks have absolutey gone into the toilet this year thanks to the hammering of the financial services sector, before turning them both down for a big promotion at Lehman, and then having to sit and watch the slow-motion taking apart of that firm over the following several months from the inside, it was quite a first half of the year already.

And little did I know, things hadn't even started to really go downhill yet.

Throughout the summer, Lehman's stock tumbmled to fresh low after fresh low. There were many days when the stock price was so all anyone was looking at that we couldn't even consider doing any actual work. Sadly, there were so many of those days that it almost lost its effect, inuring us to that feeling of fear, of panic really, of total hopelessness. Eventually I gave up and started looking for another job again, which brought with it even more stress to go along with dealing with the day-to-day grind at Lehman. Then Hammer Wife and I decided it was time to move the family out of the city, adding yet another huge layer of difficulty to what was already a real pressure-cooker of a life I had going on.

In the end it all worked out, as we managed to get a great house just four days before the school year started, also four days before I started at my new job, which turned out to be fortuitous as it was exactly six days into my new job when Lehman Brothers went under, sparing off this sick plunge for stock prices that is still yet to reach its bottom. That said, a new job and a new house and all of course have brought with them their own new stresses that most of you out there are more than familiar with. And now the massive economic slowdown, I feel like I'm fighting for my job all over again. It has just been one thing after another after another for me almost since the minute that 2008 began.

And again, don't get me wrong -- I am well aware of how many people out there are grappling with things far worse than I. Millions of Americans are flat-out unemployed. People are sick, or worse yet, their families. Family problems, personal and emotional problems. Shit, just from a job perspective, guys like mutual fund managers and hedge fund managers have had it far worse than me this year, I freely understand that. But it's not a competition, and I'm not trying to say I have it worse or better than anyone else. All I'm saying is, I've been feeling for a long time like I need to just get the fawk away, from everything. Hopefully this week will bring me the quantum of solace I am looking for.

So as usual when I'm away, I don't know for sure just how much I'll be blogging while I'm gone. It looks like I will be bringing my laptop on our trip, and I learned this weekend that our hotel does in fact have high-speed internet in every room. So I may be totally off the grid for a few days, or I may be totally blogging every day like usual. Or it could be something in the middle, which I've done before, where I just link up some old posts or some posts in a certain category that I'm thinking about this week. We'll just have to wait and see. But either way, this is a week about relaxing and winding down for me, about adding to the huge list of awesome memories with my family, and giving my incredible girls a whole bunch of experiences they've never come close to taking in before. And no matter what happens with the blog this week, I will be back and better than ever next week with more of the same blogdonkery you've been getting here day in, day out for nearly four years.

Have a great week everyone, and an awesome Thanksgiving if I'm not around.

Moving Day

Well, this is it. Just more than a week after saying goodbye to the company I've worked for for the past three years, today I bid adieu to the apartment I've lived in for the past five years and the city I've lived in for the last seven. In fact, right now I've got three guys frantically taping up, stacking ansd storing away all of my worldly possessions all around me while I toil away at the 1-2 nl tables on full tilt and watch CNBC until they take my precious flat screen away to be crated and loaded on the truck. I know my posting has been sparse to say the least of late, but that should get back to normal over the next week or so after the holiday as I transition to life in my new house, in a new city and at a new job. I haven't gone anywhere, but I've just been so dam busy over the past month or so that it's easily been the craziest month I've ever lived.

If I don't get around to posting on Friday, have a great Labor Day weekend everyone and here's hoping for nice weather, good friends and a healthy life for everyone out there.

Goodbye Cruel Work

So this is it. My last day of work where I've been for the past few years. My last day of the ghey suit and tie. My last day of the stiff-ass atmo and the stodgy demeanor of everyone in any position of power at the company. My last day working for the "back office" in a company which thinks "back office" somehow means "insignificant, unworthy pond scum". My last day working for the weak-willed shell of a man known as my boss. My last day dealing with the low-base big-bonus compensation structure of an investment bank.

But it is also my last day managing a team of lawyers and analysts whom I have really grown to know and love. My last day as the biggest fish in the small group which I have basically led for the past couple of years. My last day of being The Man with the answers for everyone around me. My last day of being everyone's favorite lawyer on a team where my other colleague and even my boss don't get even a tenth of the respect that I do, from anyone. My last day of basically mentoring and guiding the professional and personal lives of so many of the people around me.

After all my griping, I am definitely feeling sad today to be leaving, I really am. And don't get me wrong -- I'm glad overall I'm getting out of this place, I know it's the right time and I know this is a move I have to make. But the bottom line is, over the past year or so in this job I have earned my first opportunity as a lawyer to really be a leader, to build a team of lawyers providing top notch support to a large subset of clients in a major company. And that aspect of things has been awesome, and frankly it is something I am giving up when I go to my new employer in a few weeks. And I'm going to miss it, quite a bit actually. So I leave today with a sense of happiness and adventure, moving on to the next thing in my career, but I don't do it with all smiles. It's a sad day for me in many ways, as I say goodbye to so many of the great people I have had the chance to meet and the opportunity to work with and to lead over the past few years of my life. I can only hope that my next job brings me some of these same challenges and some of the same opportunities I have been able to land here in my time in the bank, although overall getting out of this environment -- especially at this particular time -- is something I am looking tremendously forward to.

Now it's time to move on to the next item on my agenda -- moving from the big city to the big suburbs of New York.