Almost No Poker Content

Oh. My. God.

Right now I am experiencing work tilt of a kind I never dreamed imaginable. I don't even know how much detail I can get into here because there is always this nagging concern that I will somehow get outted by this blog, a move which would almost certainly lead to my immediate firing. It's not like the blog has even the slightest bit to do with my job, me doing anything illegal or unethical, I'm not disclosing confidential information of my employer, nothing like that. But I work at the dorkiest of dorkworks as you know, and it is just very obvious that this place would not be able to handle the truth if it came to them discovering what I do in my "other life". There's just no way, and I know that for sure.

It's a shame about my megatilt too. Normally today I would be on here talking about how I logged in this morning and saw that fucking Surflexus won his seventh fucking Mookie tournament last night. Seven Mookies!!! That's right, that shit is worthy of three exclamation points right there, deal with it. I know there is a great blog post or ten with that story (Surf's A6 > AK three-handed and then his KJ > KQ with one card to come on a King-high flop in heads-up play not the least of it), and normally I would be attacking that one head-on, including how Surf has obviously figured out the Mookie formula so fucking badly that he should probably not be allowed to play it anymore, or at least not without starting with half as many chips as the rest of us or something like that. But instead, I'm seeing red today and I can't even think about anything as mundane as the Mookie right now. The tilt actually happened Wednesday afternoon at my office, and so those of you who are normally used to a little more chatter and humor from me in the Mookie chatbox, sorry to disappoint last night. I shouldn't have even played at all. It was nothing personal. Just business.

So let's see, how can I describe what has gone on here at work in a way that I am comfortable with. Let me put it this way. There are a couple of people here in my small group of lawyers who have been taking advantage of my boss -- who hasn't ever even heard of a fucking testicle, let alone having any -- for the past year. I've written about this stuff before, maybe not in a whole lot of detail, but enough. Anyways, yesterday I found out that, for about the third or fourth time in a major way in the past few months, my boss's complete ineptitude, his complete inability to deal with any situation or have any kind of confrontation or manage his way out of a paper fucking bag, has once again led to me getting fucked. Hard.

Now, I have had many dealings with the exact same people who have abused the shit out of my boss for the past year, and miraculously I haven't let them take advantage of me even one time. It's not hard -- I am not a pussy, I know what I am doing, and I don't let anyone push me into doing anything I don't want to do, or allow anyone to do things that I know are not right. But I am also not afraid to tackle an issue head-on, unlike my pussyboss, and that's how I have avoided falling into the traps that he falls into every single day. The man will run and bury his head in the sand over just about any issue whenever the fuck he is confronted with one. Anything to avoid having to deal with it. It's frightening, really, to think that this guy has been entrusted with leading a group of lawyers at a major company, and in reality he isn't even fit to be the fucking mailroom guy at my firm (no offense to mailroom workers, I'm sure most of them are really lovely people). He somehow managed to use an earlier relationship with a senior person here to trick that person into hiring him into a management position at this company that he was clearly not ready for (and obviously never will be, seeing his track record here), and the thing that gets me just shaking mad is that his pussyosity does not only affect him. As the senior member on his team, and the person entrusted with doing about 90% of the work in his group, I cannot escape the continual ass fuckings that stem consistently from his unbelievable level of unprofessionalism and ineptitude.

I mean, it's one thing if you want to be a pussy loser at your work and you let it impact your professional life. Maybe it makes you unhappy at work. Maybe it makes you incapable of performing your job responsibilities. Maybe it makes you unable to ever advance at your job because you clearly cannot handle where you're already at. Maybe it's all of those things, or maybe it's something different entirely as far as a negative consequence to you from your own professional faults. But my situation is far different from that. In my case, it is my boss's ineptitude, my boss's faults, my boss's loserness that is causing all of the problems, and nearly 100% of the negative effects of all that are felt by me and me alone. He fucks something up being a goddam pussy, I have to clean up the mess because he does not have the skills to do it himself. He mismanages a personnel situation that results in someone quitting the firm, I have to do their work to fix things because no one else here (him included) has even a clue how to do it. He promises me some form of benefit, and then is a megapussy and gets outfoxed by a con artist into losing that benefit before giving it to me, and I pay the price. It has happened so many times here by this time that I am just beside myself. I am beyond beside myself. I'm BBM. I am BBM at my work at this point.

All through my life as a lawyer, I have kept a constant eye on my own weaknesses and worked to better them at all times. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but in a way it's a lot like my poker game. I have constantly assessed and re-assessed where I'm at a thousand times over in both poker and lawyering, and almost every day I am making active strides to get noticeably better at both. Some days it's a tiny little improvement, other days it is more tangible, but the one constant is that I am always improving. And I've seen clear results from that approach in both poker and in my professional life as an attorney. But see, the great thing about poker is that I am my own man, and I alone control my destiny. I mean, to be sure poker has so much pure luck involved that it's not like I can actually claim to be able to control winning and losing with any sense of seriousness, but it is beyond comforting to know that I can't be negatively affected directly by so many of the bozos out there who don't focus on their game or who just plain suck at it. Sure they can suck out or luck out on me repeatedly, but that's just random luck and it is expressly a part of the game we play. Their lack of ability or lack of improvement cannot directly affect me, only bad luck can.

But within the four walls of my office, for the first time in a decade as a lawyer, I have found myself in a situation where another man's complete and utter ineptitude and stupidity has a direct, significant and continuously negative impact on my own life. And because that man is my boss, while I continue to work here, I will continue to be trapped. Trapped by his own bumbling idiocy, and really his pussy wussy pussy fucking nature more than anything else, to remain condemned to suffer repeatedly the brunt of his own massive shortcomings. As an employee (he does nothing but hurt this company with his every action), as a lawyer (he is beyond terrible) and as a manager (he has no leadership, communication or management skills whatsoever), my boss is simply not fit for the job. And my own professional life suffers every fucking day as a result of that one indelible truth. And it all leads me back to one inescapable conclusion, the same thing I have been saying for over a year now but as yet have not done anything about.

I have got to get the fuck out of here.