Thursday, February 21, 2008

Almost No Poker Content

Oh. My. God.

Right now I am experiencing work tilt of a kind I never dreamed imaginable. I don't even know how much detail I can get into here because there is always this nagging concern that I will somehow get outted by this blog, a move which would almost certainly lead to my immediate firing. It's not like the blog has even the slightest bit to do with my job, me doing anything illegal or unethical, I'm not disclosing confidential information of my employer, nothing like that. But I work at the dorkiest of dorkworks as you know, and it is just very obvious that this place would not be able to handle the truth if it came to them discovering what I do in my "other life". There's just no way, and I know that for sure.

It's a shame about my megatilt too. Normally today I would be on here talking about how I logged in this morning and saw that fucking Surflexus won his seventh fucking Mookie tournament last night. Seven Mookies!!! That's right, that shit is worthy of three exclamation points right there, deal with it. I know there is a great blog post or ten with that story (Surf's A6 > AK three-handed and then his KJ > KQ with one card to come on a King-high flop in heads-up play not the least of it), and normally I would be attacking that one head-on, including how Surf has obviously figured out the Mookie formula so fucking badly that he should probably not be allowed to play it anymore, or at least not without starting with half as many chips as the rest of us or something like that. But instead, I'm seeing red today and I can't even think about anything as mundane as the Mookie right now. The tilt actually happened Wednesday afternoon at my office, and so those of you who are normally used to a little more chatter and humor from me in the Mookie chatbox, sorry to disappoint last night. I shouldn't have even played at all. It was nothing personal. Just business.

So let's see, how can I describe what has gone on here at work in a way that I am comfortable with. Let me put it this way. There are a couple of people here in my small group of lawyers who have been taking advantage of my boss -- who hasn't ever even heard of a fucking testicle, let alone having any -- for the past year. I've written about this stuff before, maybe not in a whole lot of detail, but enough. Anyways, yesterday I found out that, for about the third or fourth time in a major way in the past few months, my boss's complete ineptitude, his complete inability to deal with any situation or have any kind of confrontation or manage his way out of a paper fucking bag, has once again led to me getting fucked. Hard.

Now, I have had many dealings with the exact same people who have abused the shit out of my boss for the past year, and miraculously I haven't let them take advantage of me even one time. It's not hard -- I am not a pussy, I know what I am doing, and I don't let anyone push me into doing anything I don't want to do, or allow anyone to do things that I know are not right. But I am also not afraid to tackle an issue head-on, unlike my pussyboss, and that's how I have avoided falling into the traps that he falls into every single day. The man will run and bury his head in the sand over just about any issue whenever the fuck he is confronted with one. Anything to avoid having to deal with it. It's frightening, really, to think that this guy has been entrusted with leading a group of lawyers at a major company, and in reality he isn't even fit to be the fucking mailroom guy at my firm (no offense to mailroom workers, I'm sure most of them are really lovely people). He somehow managed to use an earlier relationship with a senior person here to trick that person into hiring him into a management position at this company that he was clearly not ready for (and obviously never will be, seeing his track record here), and the thing that gets me just shaking mad is that his pussyosity does not only affect him. As the senior member on his team, and the person entrusted with doing about 90% of the work in his group, I cannot escape the continual ass fuckings that stem consistently from his unbelievable level of unprofessionalism and ineptitude.

I mean, it's one thing if you want to be a pussy loser at your work and you let it impact your professional life. Maybe it makes you unhappy at work. Maybe it makes you incapable of performing your job responsibilities. Maybe it makes you unable to ever advance at your job because you clearly cannot handle where you're already at. Maybe it's all of those things, or maybe it's something different entirely as far as a negative consequence to you from your own professional faults. But my situation is far different from that. In my case, it is my boss's ineptitude, my boss's faults, my boss's loserness that is causing all of the problems, and nearly 100% of the negative effects of all that are felt by me and me alone. He fucks something up being a goddam pussy, I have to clean up the mess because he does not have the skills to do it himself. He mismanages a personnel situation that results in someone quitting the firm, I have to do their work to fix things because no one else here (him included) has even a clue how to do it. He promises me some form of benefit, and then is a megapussy and gets outfoxed by a con artist into losing that benefit before giving it to me, and I pay the price. It has happened so many times here by this time that I am just beside myself. I am beyond beside myself. I'm BBM. I am BBM at my work at this point.

All through my life as a lawyer, I have kept a constant eye on my own weaknesses and worked to better them at all times. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but in a way it's a lot like my poker game. I have constantly assessed and re-assessed where I'm at a thousand times over in both poker and lawyering, and almost every day I am making active strides to get noticeably better at both. Some days it's a tiny little improvement, other days it is more tangible, but the one constant is that I am always improving. And I've seen clear results from that approach in both poker and in my professional life as an attorney. But see, the great thing about poker is that I am my own man, and I alone control my destiny. I mean, to be sure poker has so much pure luck involved that it's not like I can actually claim to be able to control winning and losing with any sense of seriousness, but it is beyond comforting to know that I can't be negatively affected directly by so many of the bozos out there who don't focus on their game or who just plain suck at it. Sure they can suck out or luck out on me repeatedly, but that's just random luck and it is expressly a part of the game we play. Their lack of ability or lack of improvement cannot directly affect me, only bad luck can.

But within the four walls of my office, for the first time in a decade as a lawyer, I have found myself in a situation where another man's complete and utter ineptitude and stupidity has a direct, significant and continuously negative impact on my own life. And because that man is my boss, while I continue to work here, I will continue to be trapped. Trapped by his own bumbling idiocy, and really his pussy wussy pussy fucking nature more than anything else, to remain condemned to suffer repeatedly the brunt of his own massive shortcomings. As an employee (he does nothing but hurt this company with his every action), as a lawyer (he is beyond terrible) and as a manager (he has no leadership, communication or management skills whatsoever), my boss is simply not fit for the job. And my own professional life suffers every fucking day as a result of that one indelible truth. And it all leads me back to one inescapable conclusion, the same thing I have been saying for over a year now but as yet have not done anything about.

I have got to get the fuck out of here.

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Blogger Astin said...

Then leave. Quit being a donkey chasing the carrot they dangled in front of you and leave.

That or get your dumbass boss fired if he's the source of all your aggravation. Go over his head, and lay it out. Either he goes or you go. If they can't move you out from under his umbrella, or shitcan his ass, then you're gone. No more promotions that leave you in the same place with more official responsibility, no more empty promises, no more assfucking from higherups.

Make it perfectly clear that you're out the door, and he's the sole reason why.

Just make sure you have something lined up when you do.

But holy workshift Batman! Monday it became tolerable, Thursday it's time to carpet bomb.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Donkette said...

I have to agree with Astin, get the hell out of there just for your own sanity. Your situation sucks big time, but only you can change it, and as the old saying goes, "Nothing changes if nothing changes". I'm really not a religious person but when God closes one door he opens many more...... Good Luck.......

11:20 PM  
Blogger Instant Tragedy said...

I agree with my two esteemed collegues. The only way things are going to change is if you make the change.

Dumbass Boss - Not going to make anything but empty promises that will continue to frustrate and fuck ya.

Dumbasses Above Boss - Either they are blind or just don't care. You are providing what they need with the least possible resistance.

The one time I pulled the "It's him or me," it was the other guy that was pushed.

But the time I did that, I had no other options and I had a lead on a new position.

And if you just don't care then remind the big bosses that if you leave that numbnuts will have to do all of your work, and if he is as GREAT a lawyer as he is a manager, they are screwed. Then pack your office, and move on with your life.

Because life is too short to be banging your head against a brick wall.

All that it hurts is your head.

All of your IIF support you and if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to call.


11:38 PM  
Blogger columbo (at eifco dot org) said...

Hoy, you are a NY lawyer. NY. No matter where you go, your going to have a boss that got there through connections and not talent. You are doomed. Sorry. That being said, I am going to recommend a book to you. You will NEVER regret reading it. "The 48 laws of power". Read it, know it, live it. (And discover why Tallyrand was successful despite all the failures around him.)

As for Surflexus, I played at his table all night and I know his secret. It seems so obvious now.
1. Play BIG POTS.
2. If you have the other player covered and he goes all-in, CALL WITH ATC.


11:58 PM  
Blogger TripJax said...


That's a pretty kick ass word right there man.

As for your situation, I feel for ya. Shit usually happens for a reason, so I hope if/when you jump, you land on both feet and in better shape than before.

Good luck holmes.

Surflexus is not human.

12:17 AM  
Blogger $mokkee said...


bosses suck. i think i've had maybe two bosses i actually enjoyed suiting up for. the rest sucked ballz.

there have only been two times in my life when i've been really happy at work. that was when i ran my own gig and didn't have to put up with lame bosses, incompetent co-workers, office politics and all the other stoopid b.s that goes along with it.

btw, Surflexus is GOD of the mOOk!

1:21 AM  
Blogger bayne_s said...

I am sure one of the other NY poker playing lawyers has the name of a recruiter in her possession.

Life is too short to spend time at a job that pisses you off.

In my career I have had 3 jobs that lasted less than 17 months, it doesn't negatively impact my efforts to get a new job when I interview.

Did work tilt cause shutdown of $28k effort last night?

1:22 AM  
Blogger DuggleBogey said...

Hang in there man.

Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

1:38 AM  
Blogger Irongirl01 said...

Time for a change of scenery. I know they say the grass isnt greener on the other side but if you are getting knots in your stomach and hate going to work Its time to change. Put your ducks in a row, then call a meeting with upper managment, out your boss and if they fail to do anything then tender your resignation but have something already lined up. You have plenty of time to look for another job. YOur too young to be getting that worked up over a job...

2:28 AM  
Blogger lightning36 said...

I love my current place of employment, but it's not too hard to remember what an absolute shithead I worked for before. When I look back, I can't believe that I stayed as long as I did and put up with so much crap -- and felt so rotten every day.

Time to move on, bro. Update the resume and start looking before you become a basket case.

2:43 AM  
Blogger BWoP said...

Get out while you still have your sanity and integrity intact.

I have contacts.

Talk to me.

2:44 AM  
Blogger SilverVW said...

Hey Hoy,

Sorry to read about the work situation instead of a poker conquest. Reading my way through your's and Fuel's archives. I should start my own blog, but don't think that anyone wants to read about a .5/.10 NL / $1 SnGs donkey like

I bailed out of a job after four years of working with a "used car salesman type boss" only to land a job in hell. The closing of a door/opening of a window deal DOES in fact happen. Six months into the job from hell and here I sit working hard writing software manuals and reading poker blogs at a better job! (I forgot to remove my resume from Monster, how lucky for me!)

Just do what you have to do, and grind it out until you get something else lined up.

Tonight is another episode of LOST. Kate-centric I think. Here is a Letterman top ten, I like number one the best.

Being a LOST fan, if you didn't know about this, here is a great site to easily waste 8 or more hours of the workday away the first time you visit (and the first two hours of a Friday morning too with the updates):

SilverVW (donkin’ it up at AP and FT)

3:07 AM  
Blogger JL514 said...

There has got to be some kind of open door policy to upper management.

There should be some type of performance review/evaluation, and it should be done in 360 degrees. Not only should your boss be evaluating you, but so should your peers and your underlings. That being said, you should also be given an opportunity to evaluate your boss and your peers.

If it's gone too far, start looking elsewhere as others have said, and make sure to get in contact with HR for an exit interview when you leave, and leave with some choice words.

4:07 AM  
Blogger PokahDave said...

I have to agree with TripJax.....
Pussyosity is definitely going to be added to my vocabulary! BTW...I was using the stall technique in the Bodog 10K Tuesday and lo' and works!

5:37 AM  
Blogger Evy said...

Hi Hoy....

I hear you on the whole law firm BS, especially with people who are allegedly managers...

Although I live in PA, I have several NY law firm contacts....I'm not sure what specific kind of law you tend to practice, but if I can help, I'm glad to. You can email me at and give me more detail.

I am not sure if you are a partner or an associate at your firm, but I know both come with pressures and stupidity. Hang tough.

Its yet another reason I don't regret dropping out of law school. Being a paralegal (and now working in-house corporate instead of at a 'firm') I get to go home at the end of the day and leave work at work.

Hang tough.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Zeem said...

Just get it in with the best, and know when to fold. A weak passive giving you troubles? I thought you ate those guys up. Corporate law is soooooo rigged.

9:35 AM  

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