TV

While I'm busy not talking about poker, and as we await the House rubber-stamp on the freshly-revised bailout package that the people of this country dislike as much as the one that was voted down a few days ago (I actually bet it's moreso in fact), I thought today I would just give some thoughts on another favorite topic of mine: tv.

First off, the one (and only) new show I was actually looking forward to this year was Fringe. I knew absolutely nothing about it until the day it premiered, but the reason I had been anticipating it so much was that it is created by J.J. Abrams, the producer of Lost. Frankly, that was all I needed to know to be interested in at least giving it a chance. Obviously Lost is the best, most suspenseful and basically most well-done show of the milennium so far, and I watched Abrams' movie Cloverfield as well with high anticipation, leaving feeling let down but still finding it interesting enough to hold my respect for the man behind the best thriller ever to hit the television airwaves. So when I heard he was bringing this new show Fringe to Fox this season, I actually programmed my DVR to make sure I had the whole season taping.

And then I promptly canceled it after seeing the premiere. Talk about formulaic. This show is like a poor man's X-Files (easily one of the best shows of the '90s). A very, very poor man. Sure they throw in that actor who plays Matthew Abbadon on Lost, and he himself is worth watching just to see how creepy he really is. But otherwise the actors are all bottom-rung and/or no-names, led by the dude who played Pacey on Dawson's Creek, for all you ghey people out there. And let me tell you, Pacey has no place as a leading actor in anything, let alone something with as horrible of writing as Fringe has. Just about the only thing original about Fringe is that they thought, just to make it not an exact copy of the X-Files, they would make Pacey play the doubting, skeptical Scully character, while getting some unknown blond chick to play the totally believing Mulder person. Otherwise, the pilot was just about the most boring, trite thing I've seen in a few years. I struggled to get through the first episode, and I won't ever watch it again.

Speaking of not watching other bad shows, Heroes? Nope. 15 minutes during Season 1, plus the joke that apparently Season 2 was, is enough for me to have made my judgment. I'll never watch that thing. And Terminator? Here wss another show that you had a lot of people out there talking about in its first season last year, so I eventually tuned in. And I was bored (and btw, you will not find a bigger fan of the Terminator movies than me, anywhere). But the show just doesn't qutie have it. The acting is blah, the stories are blah, and frankly the whole thing just feels like a big two-year marketing blitz for the new Terminator movie coming out in Summer 2009, starring Christian Bale of the new Batman fame, which is exactly what it started off as according to producers Warner Brothers. Even though I will surely be seeing that movie, the tv show is a skip, which is just what I've done this season. Never even set the DVR for it, and I'm not missing it one bit. Anything with David Austin Greene as one of the big stars is just not for me. Gee, I wonder if that guy is still a virgin?

Now to one of the bright spots of this year's programming so far: Entourage. This is what, the fourth season of the show now? In the first year, Vincent Chase got Big. In the second year he lived it up. In the third season, he took a gamble and made an indie film, which ended up bombing horrifically. And now here in the fourth season, the show has once again changed its nature, with the first part of the season so far all about Vince struggling to come back from the failed Medaean (who the hell knows how to spell that shit?). And even though it is the saddest, most pessimistic season yet of the show, would anyone out there try to say it hasn't been awesome? Every episode so far has been effing great as far as I'm concerned. It reminds me a lot of Book 5 I think of the Harry Potter series, the one where Harry spends all year being hated and having no friends at school, and just generally having a horrible year, even though the book itself was still quite good. That's Vincent Chase's life right now.

I'm enjoying seeing E. make it a little bit as an agent for some people other than just Vince. As always, Ari Gold remains one of the best, coolest characters anywhere on television today. And Johnny Drama is just as pathetic as ever. The actor who plays Vince is I think doing a great job portraying the down-on-his-luck former star who needs to find a way back to the big-time. I'm just trying to figure out if the entire season is going to go like this, or rather if something big will happen for Vinny before they sign off until probably next summer. Either way, I imagine most of you Entourage fans out there if nothing else are joining me in not missing Billy the director at all from last season. He was another good character, someone we all can relate to since most of us know at least one of these artsy-fartsy types who is way too particular and dramatic about everything, but to be honest last season ended up being far too much Billy and not enough of everyone else. To me, this year has started off so far as Entourage's best yet, and here's hoping that continues.

Speaking of the best shows on tv, let's not forget that just this past weekend, Dexter returned for its third season on Showtime. Dexter was I would say hands-down the best show on television last year, and the writers have an amazing way of cranking up the suspense right from the first minute and just never turning it down all season long. This year they seem to have jumped us right in to the fray once again with the premiere, as Dexter "accidentally" killed the wrong man, and already he's got some Miami bigwigs hot on the trail of the killer. It is a somewhat familiar plot in general terms to last season's big story, but I have 100% confidence that the creators will be taking this season in new, unexpectedly awesome turns.

If you haven't ever watched Dexter, you are a clown and should rectify that right away. It's a show about a guy who works for the Miami forensics lab as a blood spatter expert by day, and by night he goes out and kills people. Lots of them. Ritualistically. But the kicker is, he only kills confirmedly bad people. Other killers of innocents, rapists, abusers, shit like that. So he doesn't kill indiscriminately at all, but his upbringing has still led him to be one fucked-up bloodluster. And as I mentioned, the writing is top-notch and the stories so far through two seasons have both been absolutely awesome. I swear I'm still shivering from last season's finale, which was just about as hair-raising and palm-sweating as they come. You definitely want to check this one out if you haven't before -- if you have Showtime On Demand you can watch the first episode of Season 3 right now for free.

Oh yeah, and let's not forget Lost coming back too later this year. Well, technically not until early next year. And at that, it will feel like about ten years from now. But shit I can't wait to see what happens next in that show. I mean, they moved the freaking island man. They just up and moved it! Wtf does that even mean?

Go Phillies!! Tonight at 6pm ET on TBS.