National Suckout Day

I have this theory that last night was some coordinated effort among all the major poker sites to promote suckout artists (not The Suckout Artist) everywhere. I'm going to call it "National Suckout Day". I guess they do this to attract more and more fish to their games, or something. But what I saw last night, actually going back to the WWdN tournament on Tuesday night, has been extraordinary, even for online poker. Which we already all know is rigged :)

I will now attempt to prove that last night was National Suckout Day by showing you an array of pictures from what was really a suckyoutty night for everyone on the earth last night. I'd like to begin with what I did last on Wednesday night. This was after midnight New York time, and I was almost ready for bed but not quite ready after another fun night of poker and nlh tournaments. I was looking for something fun, but something quick, to take me into dreamtime. So of course, I thought of no one other than Veneno herself. So far Veneno was 2-0 against me in heads-up matches, with the first match lasting exactly 3 hands before I moved in with 55 only to be called by KK (what are the odds of that happening on the third hand of a hu match?) and IGH. The second match was much longer -- this one lasted exactly 5 hands, when I moved in with 99, and got called by 10-10, and IGH again (don't even try to tell me the odds of that happening twice in the span of 8 hands in two matches with someone....I don't think modern calculators can calculate numbers that small). So, although I was 0-2 in hu matches with Veneno, I know I'm a much better player than the luck of the cards has allowed me to be in my two ridiculous matches with her thus far, and I wanted my revenge. Veneno was all too happy to oblige me, and we fired one up on UltimateBet.

After weathering some smartass but well-deserved comments from Veneno after we passed the 5th hand threshold, a few hands later I limped in with 64s. Flop comes 345 rainbow. Obviously a great flop for me in that I have a pair on a low board, as well as the high end of an open end straight draw. I make a small bet, Veneno quick-calls. River is an 8, also rainbow. Given that this is another rag, there is no flush draw and this didn't help any straight draws, I bet again, this time a little bigger. Veneno quick-calls again. I put her on two high cards, and guess read her to be figuring that there is not much chance I hit any of these cards on the board either thus far. Then the river comes the beautiful 4, giving me trips on a board where Veneno can't possibly put me on holding a 4 in my hand. I think as if I'm concerned about betting again, and I move all-in. Veneno quick-calls and I'm laughing at how quickly I've dispatched of her. Then she flips over this:



A flopped straight. So no I didn't get bad beat in the classic sense on the river or anything, but as if it wasn't enough that she flopped a straight on me, it was the trips on the river that made this such an absurd river beat for me. As if I would have called on the end with just a pair of 4s. Come on. What a joke. But wait, it gets better to a hilarious degree.

Maybe 10 or 15 hands later, when I've managed to regain most of the chips that were sucked from me in the hand described above, Veneno calls my preflop raise when I have JJ. I'm thinking this is the hand where I'll bust her with my strong hand. Flop comes K46. I don't love the King, but in general I have no reason to believe my hu opponent holds one of the remaining Kings, and I have to get her out of this pot anyways if I'm ahead, so I put in a decent sized bet. Veneno calls fairly quickly, too quick for her to actually be holding a King as far as I can read her. Turn is a 5. Although this puts three straight cards on the board, the middle 5 coming on the turn means that the only straights this would fill were the inside straight draws, which I know Veneno isn't fishy enough to call my generous flop bet with. So I can't worry about this card. I bet bigger on the turn, definitely trying to get her out in case she has a 7 or something which gives her an OESD now, and she thinks and calls me again, though I am more sure than ever at this point that she is not holding a King or a pocket pair. Then on the river comes another Jack, once again giving me river trips and a nearly unbeatable hand given the way the betting has gone. I mull it over, feigning weakness, and make a 3/4 pot sized bet. Veneno pauses and moves in on me. I laugh once again, forgiving the UB gods for scrooging me earlier, because I just basically won this matchup thanks to the trip jacks (not TripJax) on the river. Except that Veneno flips over this fishy suckout:



See, it wasn't enough that Veneno fishcalled a large flop bet with just an inside straight draw and two medium cards (huh?!). Then her inside straight draw filled on the turn, and THEN to top it off I once again was dealt trips on the river, which I'd have to be an absolute horse's ass to get away from in this hand.

Still not convinced UB was rigged to support National Suckout Day last night? Well then let me produce the piece de resistance for you. About 10 minutes later, when I have once again managed to regain most of the ground that had been robbed from me in these two hands, I limp in with 73o. Veneno's quick-limp told me she too did not have a good hand, as in no high cardsm no pocket pair and no connectors or suited cards. Flop comes A76 rainbow. In my head, I know Veneno doesn't have an Ace from the way she played the flop. So I figure the odds are that my 7 is good. I bet small on the flop, she calls, but delayed the point that I was 100% positive she did not have an Ace. The flop is a 2, a sure rag and definitely still leaving me ahead since I had a clear read of no ace in Veneno's hand. I bet it bigger, she thinks for a while and calls me. I guess I considered for a minute there that she also had a 7 with a higher kicker, but I'm telling you I've played a lot with her and I know she wouldn't be playing just second pair that way with an Ace on the board and me betting at her. So I can't figure out what she has, but I still know I'm in the lead. The river comes a 4, a great card for me in that it means my 7 is the best pair out there since I'm so sure Veneno isn't holding an Ace or a 7, or a pocket pair or anything like that. I move in with my pair of 7s, and Veneno quick-calls and flips this:



Another rivered straight!!

Needless to say, I won't be playing on UB anymore unless something drastically changes there. The interface is among the worst in the online poker world, and the tournaments and sngs are a real pain in the ass to even register for. And the riggedness, let's not forget about that. Just look at those three hands -- all within the span of probably 40 or 50 hands Veneno and I played together. Still, I congratulated Veneno then, and I reiterate that now -- she's played me three times and won all three. That record speaks for itself. And it won't be changing anytime soon, as I let Veneno know that I officially concede my lifetime record in hu matches with her at 0-3. Last night was officially my breaking point with UB. Eff them.

OK, so on to more suckouts -- remember the Veneno match was only the last thing I played in on Wednesday. I decided early on Wednesday evening that I would devote the evening to winning a few more $24 tokens on full tilt, to use in the nightly Bracelet Race tournaments for a $1500 WSOP seat. In the first $8 sng that I played, I got short stacked and then moved in on the turn against a large stack at the table with TPTK when I knew from the betting that I had the best hand, but was just hoping he would call my bet with his large stack to try to knock me out. My read was right on, and my ploy worked to a tee, until this happened:



Luckily, I went on to win tokens in my next 3 sng's last night, so that is all good, and I will be playing for my $1500 wsop seat on $8 buyins for the next couple of nights at least.

While I was running a couple of these ftp sng's at the same time, I also entered Mookie's Big O Poker Room tournament in honor of Katitude and her first ever tournament win last Wednesday evening in this event. As usual in the blogger events, I started with the aggression early and often, but had to weather one particularly annoying suckout from Chris, when we moved in on the flop with me having top 2 pairs, and him just top and bottom pair for a dominated hand, until this:



At least this one wasn't for a huge amount of chips, so I was able to recover just fine from that beat, keep being aggressive, and eventually I managed to knock out Hoff and Mookie's friend VegasRico from my first table on my way to storming to the final table with a huge chip lead:



And that was when some of the funniest suckouts began in support of National Suckout Day. First, take a good, hard look at this one, that knocked Waffles out of the tournament in 9th place, because it is one of the worst pure allin-preflop bad beats you will ever see:



Then I went out in 6th place on this hand:



You may be thinking that I shouldn't have played that hand, but let me tell you, only the big stack to my immediate right was in at the time I called, and he had been playing crazy, bullying everyone with his stack, and I had put him on a medium Ace (exactly what he had), so I decided to go for the race with me as a slight favorite, or hopefully use the folding equity from my allin raise to get this guy to fold like a non-fish would do. Then fishy mcfishelstein to my left also called with her laughable KJo, and whaddya know, my favorite hand going in comes in a distant third place. And to what? Another straight, this one on the turn!! What was it with those things last night?

Lastly, Mookie's tournament ended shortly thereafter in perfect apt fashion for National Suckout Day, as Kat went against the big stack, and on a flop of A34, Kat moved in with her overpair of 55. Unfortunately for her, stacky called with A4 for top two pairs. Never fear though, for National Suckout Day can take care of things right quick, and the turn card quickly wrapped up Kat's second straight Big O title:



Craziness.

There is also one other set of beats I wanted to show before I end this. I only show these to illustrate even further that the beats were not happening just to me, but really to everyone last night for National Suckout Day. I also show these specifically because they illustrate another of the worst possible bad beats available -- the one where you and an opponent are allin with the exact same cards, and then one of you manages to pull a flush to outdraw the other. As rare as this kind of beat is, I saw not one but TWO last night in the span of only about 20 minutes, both involving Big Slick against Big Slick:



and this one, which is even worse because the sOOted Slick loses out to the offsuit one in the flush race:



Kinda makes you want to log right on and play some poker online right now, doesn't it? Let's just all hope the purveyors of National Suckout Day had their fun last night, and are now ready to return us to the world of just regular-rigged online poker, instead of super-rigged online poker, right?