FTOPS Razz Recap, and MATH Pimp

First things first:



That's right, it's Mondays at the Hoy time again on pokerstars. Tonight at 10pm, be there or be square.

Now, today I want to review my run in the FTOPS Razz event this past Friday. As you know from reading here, I viewed the razz event as my best chance to make a serious run at the FTOPS, due to the combination of razz being among my best games and being among the worst games of the average players I run into in the online poker world. Now, while this morning I don't really feel like this is all that germane anymore -- especially after so many of our blogging friends made great runs in the FTOPS Main Event this past Sunday, most notably Lucko and Smizmiatch both ending in the 100s out of a nearly 2500-player field and each making over a Large apiece -- but I think I want to get this all up on the blog, just for closure's sake if nothing else.

Why do I need closure on the razz FTOPS event last Friday? Because I got mother effing screwed, that's why. And I want everyone to know it.

Now I'm warning you. What you're about to see is not going to be pretty. And you know what, I'm not trying to suggest that I played every single hand you're about to see perfectly. As I review the hands and the screenshots, I am plenty aware that I made a couple of questionable calls in there. But only a couple. For the most part, FTOPS razz dicked me like only online poker can. And I'm going to prove it to you right now.

First, early on in the event, I bet out on 6th street on this hand when I knew from the earlier hand action that I was ahead:



By all rights, this clown should have folded here to my bet. Instead, he inexplicably raised, due to his strong draw, but with one card to come, that's a great bet for me so I called. Here was his river card:



and I lost 300-some chips out of my 3000 starting stack. No big deal, right? A few hands later, my fishponent called this bet from me, clearly behind on 4th street:



but ended up taking another 180 chips from me when he hit an Ace on the river, to go along with my King on the river although I had already made an 8-low before that point:



Still not such a big deal, each on their own. But when you look at what happened to me on 6th and 7th streets in multiple hands overall, this was one of the most painful hours of poker I can recall. Here is me about 12 hands later, losing another 400 of my chips when I made a pair on 6th and then two pairs on 7th, in typical razz fashion, after being ahead by definition on 5th street:



So that's three riverings for me in the first 20 minutes or so of this tournament. And then of course here is one of my all-time favorites, when I am so full of hot draws on 4th street that I basically know I have to stick around through the end:



but one Queen and two low pairs later, I'm out another 500 chips at the river:



Disgusting. Three hands later, here is me raising on 5th street with a draw that is at least two cards better than the board my opponent is showing:



but then one Jack and one pair later, I'm out another phucking 450 chips:



By this point I am starting to get really frustrated. I'm not chatting in the poker site chat, but I have a couple of friends on my girly chat, and let me tell you I was really laying into them on the IM. I was pissed. Absolutely nothing went my way in this tournament, and everything went my opponents' way to a degree that I simply don't recall seeing anytime in recent memory.

Two more hands later, here's another one I enjoyed. My opponent fishcalls me badly on 5th street, with the board I was showing sitting significantly ahead of whatever he could possibly be holding (even if he were perfect underneath at that point):



but then not one but a pair of Jacks later, once again I'm out 400 more chips:



At this point my stack was getting pretty low, in that although I did win several pots that are not going to be described here, those were all small pots won early in the betting rounds. Every single hand that went beyond 5th street with me still in it, I lost. No exceptions. Just think about that stat for a minute. Imagine trying to succeed or even last just a little while in a nlh tournament where every time you go past the flop, you lose the hand. Recockulous. So anyways, as you can see above I'm now down below 1000 chips remaining from my starting stack of 3000 chips.

Four hands later, here is another horrendous fishcall by an assponent who simply cannot lay down a pure drawing hand in razz, despite my board clearly indicating that his donkeyass is beaten. I'm showing a Ten-six low on my board, I've bet most of the way here, and he's got a Ten and a Queen showing. But still, heehaw just can't lay it down:



A 7th street Ace for him and a Queen for me, however, and the guy is just perfect enough underneath in the end to deplete me of half of my remaining (paltry) stack:



Although this was a terrible fishcall by a horrific razz opponent, I will say that at this point in the chat, several of the players around the table had started talking about the redickulous luck I had been experiencing, both in failing to catch my own cards as well as watching my opponents repeatedly catch perfect on 7th, if not on 6th and 7th, to outdraw me. One of the players around the table had recently suggested in the chat that the poker gods just had it in for me tonight and that I wasn't going to win a single big hand in the rest of the entire tournament with the way things had been falling for me. And people were literally talking about calling me or betting at me from behind, based on that foreknowledge. So, as moronic as that is, I imagine this guy had taken that all into account when calling me with a Ten-low against my board here of Ten-64A with just one card to come. He knew for a fact that he was behind there, but went ahead and fishcalled anyways just to try and see if the poker gods would bail him out again. He was not disappointed.

And then, with me sitting on just under 600 chips remaining came the Hand of the Tournament for me. The one that just exemplifies everything that went wrong for me in the FTOPS razz event on Friday. After the previous hand above (this next one occurred just 2 hands after the preceding screenshots above), the entire table was chatting about how I couldn't win a hand to save my life in the tournament, regardless of the cards that were showing. Then one player decided to take this little theory to the extreme to try to eliminate me from the tournament once and for all, and the results are downright funny.

So here's me raising it up when I'm clearly way ahead on 3rd street:



The assfish to my right calls me with his Queen-up, just to test the theory out that the poker gods aren't going to let me win no matter what. Then, on 4th street and with me still way ahead, I bet out clearly in the lead again:



and this time, just being an anus and trying to see if he can double up against the guy who the gods aren't going to let win, he raises me. With a Queen up by 4th street:



So I figure, this guy doesn't even know how strong my 3-card draw underneath is, plus I have the Jack which is lower than the assman's exposed Queen, so, with so few chips left and me way, way in front, I reraised him right back:



To be a clown, he just went ahead and capped it on me right there, which I of course called:



Now on 5th street is where this gets downright comical. I pick up another low card, this one a 3, and he meanwhile catches a Ten. Now he's so laughably behind that I have to bet out again:



and then, with everyone around the table goading him on to staying in and busting me through the power of the poker gods, he does the unthinkable and raises me again, which I of course call, way in the lead now, after getting my last 37 chips in the pot as well:



All I could keep typing into the chat at this point was "thank you" to the guy, who I just knew was going to put me out of my misery after what was without a doubt one of the most frustrating hours I've ever spent playing poker online. At this point in the hand it was very difficult to see how I could possibly lose this one, but I just knew it was coming, as did everyone else around the table. So my opponent made not just fishcalls, but two abjectly recockulous fishraises on me on 4th and 5th streets, with more or less no chance of possibly winning the hand.

Well, make that "less no chance" rather than "more no chance". A Ten and a Queen for me, and a 3 on 7th street for him, and once again I had had defeat snatched from the jaws of victory for me:



and mercifully, IGH. I was among the first 100 players eliminated from the tournament, and frankly it wasn't even that close as I was given absolutely no chance whatsoever to do anything in this event despite my best efforts to the contrary. Time and time and time and time again, with the best hand currently, I missed everything and my opponents hit to beat me. With the best draw, I played aggressively and made two pairs or better (worse). When behind, well I don't know about when I was behind, because I was barely behind at all in this tournament until at least 6th street, and in most cases not until 7th, at which point for the most part I was already priced in to staying in for one more bet to see what happens.

In all it was a true case of why everyone says razz can be the most frustrating of all the poker variations. And thus I completed my run through four FTOPS events, cashing in only one of them -- pot limit holdem for a $362 and change score -- and overall I am clearly disappointed with those results. I was so golden in the 6-max event until my pocket Aces got cracked at the river by the recockulous trips Queens against the moron I duped into doubling me up there, so I can't kill myself for that, and in HORSE and razz it ended up like I was simply just not supposed to get there on those days, be it fate, the poker gods, just random luck, you name it. I'll take my one cash, and that one event more or less paid almost all of the buyin fees I spent to get into the four FTOPS events I played in, but I would very much have liked to have done something more with myself in this, the only round of high-guarantee tournaments I am likely to be able to play in due to the timing of things. Oh well. There's always next year. At least I probably won't have to deal with nearly as much of the non-razz-understanding, fishcalling moron playing, American riffraff asshats by the time the next FTOPS comes around, if U.S. lawmakers continue to have their way anyways.

OK so on to bigger and better things for this week. Come check out the Hoy tonight, and let's try to continue our recent streak of at least one first-time player in this tournament every week. If you've never played this tournament before, or even never played with the bloggers in general before, come out tonight to pokerstars, pony up the $20, and make it happen for yourself among a truly great crowd of poker players and poker writers. And, I'm laying the same bounty on myself tonight in the Hoy as I did in last week's MATH tournament -- knock me out from the tournament on a suckout (where I have at least a 2-to-1 advantage when the last of my chips go into the middle), and I'll send you $10 cold hard cash to your pokerstars account in addition to the chips you'll already win from me on the suckout. Now if that's not taking advantage of a bad thing, then I don't know what is.

One other quick item -- New post today on Cardsquad analyzing how I played a hand where I flopped quads against a bunch of blogger donks in Don's Big Game on Sunday night. Please go check it out and weigh in with your opinions and suggestions, and I'll post the follow-up early on Tuesday for your viewing and analyzing pleasure.

See you tonight for Mondays at the Hoy!!