TO the Joke

So after last Thursday's semi-surprise announcement that troubled yet talented wide receiver Terrell Owens had been summarily cut from the Dallas Cowboys, word filtered out late on Saturday that TO had signed a one-year, $6.5 million deal with the Buffalo Bills. I spent the better part of the weekend mulling this deal over, and the best word I have heard that I think describes the situation to a tee is weird. This is a downright weird signing to be taking place given the nature of the deal, the parties involved and especially the timing of the entire situation.

Explaining why such a high-profile all-pro athlete like TO would accept a one-year contract, worth only about $4 million guaranteed money, in a city like Buffalo, with a team like the current Bills' makeup, TO explained it like this: "I looked at the defensive side of ball and offensive side of the ball, and these guys have all the pieces."

Mmmmmm hmmmmm. So let's see. On the defensive side of the ball, cited first by TO among his reasons for moving to play with the Bills, Buffalo ended 2008 in 14th place out of 32 teams overall in yards allowed per game. 14th of 32? That's the definition of average right there. The Bills were 22nd in the league against the rush, and 13th against the pass. Average, at best. In total points allowed, 14th of 32 teams. So to suggest that the Buffalo defense has "all the pieces" as TO has stated, is sheer silliness to say the least.

Now let's turn to the offensive side of the ball. The Bills' total offense ranking in 2008 was an uninspiring 25th out of 32 teams. This breaks down to 14th of 32 teams in rushing yards, and an even more depressing 22nd in the league in throwing the ball, for a total of 23rd place in aggregate points scored during the 2008 campaign. What's more, Buffalo's leading rusher, Marshawn Lynch, is likely to miss at least the first four games of the 2009 season due to suspension relating to gun charges levied against him earlier this year. And, to be quite frank, the Bills do not have much at quarterback, the position where TO has directed most of his hate and unacceptable theatrics towards over the past several seasons in the NFL. In 2008, Buffalo QB Trent Edwards recorded 2699 yards and 11 touchdowns through the air in 14 games played. That's what TO is looking forward to playing with in Buffalo? That's who TO wants throwing him the dam ball for the next year of his life? This is the team that "had all the pieces" on offense to make TO want to play there right away, even under a bad contract and with a bad team on both sides of the ball?

The fonkeys on ESPN can write all the want about what a great fit TO is for the Buffalo Bills. The truth, however, is that this deal is a flaming disaster with almost zero chance of anything positive to come of it. How many games into the 2009 season will it be before TO starts bitching about not getting enough balls thrown his way? How long before TO blows up at Bills offensive coordinator Turk Schonert in a public way on the sidelines, because he didn't get passed to one time when he claims he was open, or because teammate Lee Evans got targeted on a given play instead of him? This team was 7--9 last year, but that doesn't even bring to light how bad the team was, starting off 5-1 only to end the season 2-8 in their final ten games to finish in dead last in the AFC East,a full two games out of even 3rd place.

This team stinks out loud, especially on offense, and double-especially in the passing game. Sure TO should help those offensive team stats to some degree, but to suggest that this is anything but an absolute desperation attempt by TO to take what was likely the only contract really offered to him from any NFL team is utterly ludicrous. To think that TO has fallen so far, so fast, that he has to go to one of the "NFL exile" cities to play for a crappy team in a one-year deal worth only $4 million guaranteed is almost all the payback I could ever hope for as an Eagles fan who still can't wait to see TO lying motionless on the turf at the Linc in Philadelphia with the fans cheering all the way.