Friday, December 28, 2007

Hoy Haters Top Five

This being the last Friday of the year, and in a slow week for blog reading at that, I thought what better for today than to do a post about the top five Hoy Haters™ of 2007. Now let me tell you, this is not an easy quest to distill all of my loving and loved Hoy Haters down to just five. I mean, I wanted to make sure to include things said in people's own blog posts and comments made on my posts, but I also wanted to include blog comments made on other people's blogs as well as things I know have been said behind my back in order to truly get a sense of who is out there hating on good ol' Hoy the most. What I have put together in today's post is hopefully an accurate depiction of the people who slam on me, belittle me, insult my play, insult me personally, and just generally trash on me every chance they get more than anyone else in all the various media and other opportunities they have.

There are plenty of secret Hoy Haters out there btw, don't think I don't know it. Some of the biggest names in all of poker blogdom are secret Hoy Haters. They think I don't know anything about it, but I do. I hear it from lots of people. People who actually like me more than they like them, so they pass all the Hoy Hating comments right on to me when they hear it themselves. And the Hoy Haters is a fucking large group, let me tell ya.

So, without further adieu, I list the top five Hoy Haters of 2007 for your viewing pleasure:

5. LJ. No list of the top Hoy Haters of the year could be complete without including the person who wrote that post just a week or two ago about me. Deep down I don't think LJ feels a whole lot of actual hate for me, which is why she is this far down the list. As far as LJ's motiviation for her Hoy Haterness, I think in this case it is quite evident. Here in the blog I have questioned some of the plays she has made that I have seen, and she does not take kindly to that sort of thing. Plain and simple. So she has retaliated in the form of that special post from earlier this month, and I say have at it. But LJ comes in as the #5 Hoy Hater of 2007 thanks to this post and the underlying feelings that obviously gave rise to such emotion and anger to lead her to author said post. Nice work, LJ, this is a hard list to crack.

4. Waffles. I know, I know, you're wondering what on earth is a World of Warcraft blogger doing on my top 5 Hoy Haters list? It's a good question. But let's not forget, there was a time earlier this year when Waffles used to be an actual poker blogger -- and I don't mean about winning "buyins" or getting "sucked out on" in the 5-cent / 10-cent cap limit games either. I mean actual poker. And if you rewind in your minds to the early part of this year, Waffles was really furious at me for a good little while in there, and frankly the Hoy Hatred that was born and nurtured during those days has never really left the ole' sap. There was probably two weeks straight during the Spring of 2007 when Waffles wrote about me in his blog just about every single day, and it was always bad. Later I would discover that he was angry at me for telling the truth about the sick sick run of cards he got hit in the face with when he took down his first and only MATH tournament, back in the days when it was still on shitheadstars as I recall. Once he admitted this to me, then at least I had a frame of reference for where a guy whom I have generally defended as a fun blog to read and a fun guy to mess around with would get these kinds of feelings about me from, but nothing could be done to stem the Hoy Hatred that had already started to well up within poor Waffles. So the daily negatory posts about me eventually stopped for a while, but the guy never really stopped being a Hater. You can see it in his little references here and there in his blog today, even this month and once every few weeks over the past several months. You can even see it with the way he jumps on posts like LJ's fun post I referenced above, and in the comments he leaves on a number of other people's blogs whenever they themselves put up a Hoy Hatery post. Face it, Waffles is a Hoy Hater through and through, and even though we may not have interacted as much this year as we have in the past, the underlying sentiment he feels for me is always there, lurking and waiting to rear its ugly head once again whenever the man sees fit. Good times.

3. Dr. Zen. Oh good Doctor, where have you gone? My avid readers will remember a good long time there where Dr. Zen -- who does have a blog but I am far too lazy to look on more than the first google page when I just searched for it -- was leaving Hoy Hatery comments all over my blog at every chance he got. And I'm not talking about these assholey spammer guys. This guy actually read my blog, and just truly thinks I am the worst poker player on the earth, and not only had no problem but really got significant enjoyment out of telling me that again and again and again at every chance he got. I could post a hand analysis where I dominated another player and took his entire stack, or one where I played it bad and admitted as much right in my post, and there was Dr. Zen to rip me four new ones every single time anyways. And he was always sure to attack the very essence of my blog in general while he was here as well, questioning why I always try to make myself look great when I really fucking blow anus at poker, why I post so many hands where I "got lucky" and won instead of showing all the hands I am obviously losing at given the shitty way I play the game, etc.

In attempting to discern Zen's motiviation for his Hoy Hatred, it took only a quick look at his own blog to determine that Zen is indeed a truly very angry, fucked up fellow. He's jealous and he is angry and pretty much unable to cope with the anger he feels towards people who he comes into contact with. Quite simply, Zen found my blog, probably pretty quickly realized he did not understand my poker greatness, and reacted in the only way he knows / knew how. With Zen, it was much less the content of his commentary on my blog and much more the attitude he always took in his comments. I use the past tense only because it's been a while since Zen made an appearance here at hammerplayer, and if memory serves, the last comment he did leave here some months ago might actually have been to take my side on something! Nonetheless, as I think back on the year, Dr. Zen's Hoy Hatred definitely rises near the forefront of all the many Haters I have had going on during 2007. So thanks Zen for the memories, even if you never deign to grace us again with your wit and poker knowledge.

2. Kajagugu. Now this one is a blog that I actually like reading, so at first I was a bit perplexed as to where exactly the Hoy Hatred was coming from here. But then it hit me all at once. In Kaja's case, I do read his blog quite frequently, recently adding him to my blogroll here at hammerplayer, and as with most blogs I read, I will comment when it strikes me to, and certainly when some people ask for readers' feedback. In Kaja's case, it seems he simply cannot handle negative criticism as well as one would like. I have left maybe three or four comments total on Kaja's blog over the past several months, indicating my disagreement with the way he played a particular hand, or in at least one case, with his complete silly mischaracterization of a hand that I played against him. The most experienced and seasoned bloggers among us all have a fair number of haters, enough that the negatory stuff like this more or less rolls right off of us. But some people aren't anywhere near that point yet, and/or may never reach that point, and here is where I see Kaja. One of my least favorite things about the blogosphere is how players who lose money or who are on tilt or who are having a bad day or whatever combination of these and other things will often use negative blog comments about other people to help make themselves feel better about their own issues. A lot of the people on this list actually fall squarely into this category, and I am proud to say that no one could ever argue I am one of these. I've never posted anything but my honest-to-goodness feelings about anything written about on anyone's blog. But a good number of others use blog comments as a way to work through their own anger, their own inadequacies, whatever it is. And when Kaja saw me disagree with him in a few of his posts -- some of which he specifically has asked for everyone's opinion on, mind you -- his natural reaction has been to come over to my blog and leave negative comments right back to me. Sadly, my reactions were genuine to the questions he has asked on his blog, whereas his feelings as expressed in the many negative comments he has left here or written about me in his own blog seem to be just negative reactions that actually have nothing to do with his honest opinion on anything he has read here or seen me do. Kaja's Hoy Hatred is a revenge-Hatred, and it has earned him the #2 spot on the list of top Hoy Haters of 2007. Kaja's blog is actually really a good read to me and I truly believe he has come into his own this year as far as learning to write more from his heart and with his own sense of style and propriety, and despite the Hoy Hatred coming from him I will continue to read as long as he continues to write, but I did want to acknowledge him here and make it known that I have in fact seen much of the not-so-nice stuff he has to say about me here, there and all over the place whenever he gets the chance. Keep it coming my man!

1. And the number one Hoy Hater of 2007 has got to be Blinders. Blinders has dedicated probably a good 20 or 25 posts just to me on his blog since the middle of the year or so, and miraculously all of them painting me in a negative light. He has left nasty comments about me in just about every one of your blogs out there. He has left his mark here, with comment after comment after comment on my own blog, again always painting an insulting, negative picture of me, my play and everything that is Hoy. To me, this is just sad. I've always secretly enjoyed Blinders' blog, and just as with the above, it is clear that Blinders has a mental block about giving an honest opinion about someone once they have deigned to disagree with something he has said on his own blog. As I said, to me that is sad, because I have never left Blinders or anyone else a comment on his blog with any motivation other than giving my honest feelings about whatever I'm writing about. But some others, Blinders definitely included, don't treat making comments on others' blogs the same way, whether they realize it or not. Blinders has trashed me up and down every possible opportunity he has had in 2007, and that is how he has earned himself the top spot on the Hoy Haters list for the year. But the worst part of all is that Blinders and I both know exactly the real reason his Hatred has climbed to such lofty levels in the second part of this year. It's not something I'm even going to write about here because I always aim not to embarrass anyone. But he knows it, I know it, and a few of you out there know it as well. No reason to get into it here, but believe me when I say I think it is the saddest thing of all that I get continually lambasted by a guy in every forum he can possibly conceive of, all for some reason that has nothing to do with the actual substance of any of his criticism of me. I guess I would like to see that change in 2008, but only if Blinders wants it to. I can handle things the way they are, and some part of me secretly enjoys reading all of the negative stuff from all the Haters, which with Blinders in particular has risen to the point (a long time ago actually) of being more or less funny to me and a bunch of guys who actually know what's really going on here.

I also wanted to list a couple of Honorable Mention Hoy Haters for 2007, as I certainly don't want to slight anyone who has taken time and energy out of their valuable schedules during this year to go out of their way to make me look and feel bad. The two honorable mentions for this year's Hoy Haters include Lucko, for about 50 negative blog comments, untruths, and just general overreactions for reasons unknown, as well as to Evil Wonka -- I never know which Wonka is which but I believe EW is this one -- for some of the downright silliest and just poorly-conceived comments I have ever received on my blog this year, as well as the usual smatter of negative stuff on his own blog. In other years, guys, you could have made this list for sure. But you need to be a certain kind of Hater to make this list for a guy like me, and you two just barely missed the kind of fervor and venom needed to really crack into the top five. Maybe next year.

Anyways, to everyone who made the list of top Hoy Haters this year, let me say thank you and congratulations. You've been recognized for your contributions to our community, and any attention is good attention, right? You have let your non-poker-related emotions get the best of you, you have bastardized the institution of blog commenting, you have spent your valuable time and energy devising ways to exact revenge on undeserving people under the guise of genuine poker commentary. But you know what? All five of the people on this list to me have enjoyable blogs to read. And I'm going to continue reading them. I know some of you won't be able to resist for all the reasons I just said above going on your own blog and trashing me for this post. I look forward to it. I will keep posting my genuine thoughts, and you can keep using your blogs and my and others' blog comments as vehicles for revenge and for working through your own insecurities and shortcomings. I'll keep reading, and I will keep linking my readers to what you have to say when I find it particularly useful or entertaining. Even if you're slamming all over me. I look forward to a great 2008 in the blogs of the people mentioned above as well as with all of you out there reading this.

Now don't forget Kat's Donkament tonight, 9pm ET on full tilt, password as always is "donkarama". If I available at 9pm ET tonight, then of course I will be there as I go for my third donkament title of the year to end a very successful year in blonkaments for me. But more on that next week as 2007 draws to a close. Have a great weekend everyone. Especially the Hoy Haters!

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Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Woo hoo! I Won something!

4:21 AM  
Blogger Chad C said...

You only have 5 haters??? God you suck at everything!!! I have at least 23.5 haters..... Maybe we need to get you photoshop so you can make some awesome pictures and increase this number?

4:28 AM  
Blogger DuggleBogey said...

Hmm...Nobody posts more hatred filled comments than me, yet I have somehow missed appearing on this list.

It simply doesn't make sense. I will have to read more carefully in the future.

4:44 AM  
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Your my hater Duggles! Stick to the proper partner.

5:02 AM  
Blogger Fuel55 said...

I keep my hating to myself, but know that deep down I hate you a lot! And I definitely hate Chad, Waffles and Dugglesm too.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Fuel <3's Hoy.

7:31 AM  
Blogger RaisingCayne said...

I'm so thankful I haven't posted my '08 goals yet, as making next years list will now have to be a priority!

(Kidding, I'm probably near the top of the 'Hoy Ass Kisser's' list myself.)

Happy New Year!

7:59 AM  
Blogger KajaPoker said...


10:22 AM  
Blogger Blinders said...

I figured I would win this, but it is for all the wrong reasons. I have no idea what this non-poker thing that you are talking about. I actaully like you personally and love your blog. It is one of the few that I read on a regular basis. The reason I post a bunch about your blog is that I simply don't play much poker anymore and it is a great source of material for me. Every single post and comment I have made has been my completely honest opinion, and has never been motivated by hate. The comments I get on my blog after posting something about your blog easially support this. My blog is 100% about helping people play better poker, you included. It always amazed me why, you could never accept a single argument that I make, while most others can. It all makes sense to me know. I would like to not make this list next year, but as long as you have blinders on towards me, I guess it is pretty likely.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Schaubs said...

I hate haters.

I hate hater haters.

Hate hate hate.

It's such a dumb word.

I hate it.

12:34 AM  
Blogger Iak said...

Resolution #142 for 2008:

Work hard to make this list! Any list Waffles can make, I should be a lock for. Now just trash me once or twice for relevance and inspiration and I'll be set.

HNY brotha. See ya in '08 fo sho.

1:15 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

LOL, still a lying cocksucker I see. Please show where I posted anything untrue anywhere. Just cuz you lie on a regular basis doesn't mean others do. Stop being a little bitch please.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage said...

LOL - lucko's making a late run for the money.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Chad C said...

Wow, love makes people crazy!!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Wwonka said...

You Suck. I can't believe I didn't make the top 5. Guess I will have to
step it up.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Buffalo66 said...

I don't usually comment on this nonsense but God, what a hateful windbag you are.

Blogger events USED to be fun. It's peeps like you that make them freaking unbearable.

12:43 AM  
Blogger Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy said...

is there a hoy lover list?

1:36 AM  
Blogger Dr Zen said...


You post some hand you play like a dog and suck out on some guy, and make out it's a lesson from God on how to play poker. I say so, and I'm a hater.

You're a good poker player, dude, no doubt, but a shithead as a blogger. And you whine like a biatch. Mostly a -EV read for the past couple of months too, which is probably why you're coming out with this shit now. Gotta feed the ego somehow, hey?

Happy new year though.

8:18 AM  
Blogger ProPokerChips said...

There’s only one real way to actually learn poker and that’s through practice. Lots of players wake up one morning and decide they’re going to join a website and make money because they beat their peers. That’s not totally right, only cuz some people get lucky a few times that doesn’t make them pros. Practice should be done, at preferably at no cost. Joining social websites is a great beginning. Both Zynga and Ultimate Poker Pro games on facebook (for example) offer lots of players of all levels. Once you see a general winning streak, then and only then people should start playing on pay sites. Otherwise you’ll be donating quite a bit.

2:35 AM  
Blogger ProPokerChips said...

There’s only one real way to actually learn poker and that’s through practice. Lots of players wake up one morning and decide they’re going to join a website and make money because they beat their peers. That’s not totally right, only cuz some people get lucky a few times that doesn’t make them pros. Practice should be done, at preferably at no cost. Joining social websites is a great beginning. Both Zynga and Ultimate Poker Pro games on facebook (for example) offer lots of players of all levels. Once you see a general winning streak, then and only then people should start playing on pay sites. Otherwise you’ll be donating quite a bit.

2:35 AM  

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