Monday, December 17, 2007

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My God. This past Sunday was one of the tiltiest days I've ever experienced. And for me let me tell you, that is really saying something.

It all started with me losing in one of my fantasy football playoff games today to an anushead playing Ike Fuggin Hilliard, Justin Fuggin Fargas and Ronald Fuggin Curry. All on the same team. At the same time. In the playoffs. This is who my genius opponent came up with for a third of his total team in a fucking playoff game in a fantasy football league. If this isn't proof that fantasy football is the stuff luckboxes are made of, then I don't know what is. I mean, Ike Fuggin Hilliard? 9 yards today at home against the powerhouse Falcons defense. This may have something to do with the fact that Ikey boy just celebrated his 86th birthday this year. And what's up with Ronald Fuggin Curry? In a playoff game? 23 yards today, no surprise at all against the top-rated Colts defense. And Justin Fuggin Fargas?!?! Also against the strong Indy defense? No problem, plug 'im in there, right? It's only the fantasy playoffs, why not? 89 yards later, and these three shitheads have put up 24.8 fantasy points and I lose. And the best part of all? This anusass fucking sat a little player named Tom Brady this week, in favor of Brett Favre. He fucking sat Tom Brady. Against the fucking Jets. In a fantasy playoff game!!!! Did I mention that fantasy football is for lucksacks?

Speaking of donkeys getting recockulously lucky, the tilt continued when I logged in to the pc at some point on Sunday afternoon and made the mistake of looking at the final results of Saturday evening's Winner's Choice tournament on full tilt, which I satellited in to a few hours earlier on Saturday night. In that tournament, which I spent $104 to win my $216 buyin for, I got donked out recockulously just 20 minutes in when some phucknut first called my utg raise (I had KK) with what turned out to be T♣8♣. Then I bet the pot on the all-undercard flop with two clubs on it, which phuckboy also called. When the turn fell, which also happened to be a third club, I checked, doing my patented go-and-stop move planning to checkraise, and when the phuckdonk bet out, I instantly moved him allin. He beat me into the pot, of course showing the made flush and IGH that early. So it was a hideous, horrible beat that ended my run at this winner-take-all WC $12,000 prize package tournament way, way earlier than it should have. It sucked, whatever. I've taken worse beats. But what killed me was the guy bragging in the chat afterwards about how he "played the hand perfectly".

Wow. Perfectly, huh? So he calls a utg raise preflop from middle position with T8s. Is that "perfect"? Try "-EV". "Stoopid" maybe. Try "horrible" even. It's a call with several players still to act behind him, of an utg raise, with a middle sooted one-gapper. This is the stuff that donkeys are made of. Then the dinkhead compounds his assity by calling a potbet on the flop with just the naked flush draw. More -EV bullshit. I'm not saying I've never seen this before. I'm not saying I've never even done it myself -- not usually though. But when I do, I don't go around claiming that I played the hand "perfectly". That was a majorly fucked up hand that this guy played, and he got incredibly lucky to have lived to tell about it. I let him know that there was zero chance of him retaining his chip lead in this basically winner-take-all event with 64 players, a fact the truth of which I had absolutey no doubt whatsoever about.

Well, that was before I logged in on Sunday to see where the clown ended up, how early his horrible preflop and flop play cost him his shot at glory in a big WPT or WSOP event. And there he was, right at the fucking top! This guy started off being a fuckfool against me, and it just never stopped. He rode my shit all the way to the 12k prize package. After the fantasy football shit that was already going down, this thing really set me off, let me tell you. I can't stand it enough already as it is when full tilt rewards the donkeys for their horrible play on an individual hand. But to reward a guy all the way through a 4-hour tournament, it was just too much for me to handle in the midst of my ghey fantasy football loss at the hands of the triumvirate of Hilliard, Fargas and Curry. What a joke.

Then let's talk a little bit more about lucksacks. So I sit down to the Big Game on Sunday night, and on Hand #1, Astin takes the pot preflop and shows pocket Kings. On Hand #2, he flops the nut straight against Iak's flopped 2nd-nut straight. On Hand #3, he has pocket Queens, and flops a set to boot. On Hand #9 he wins the pot with a bet on the flop, and flashes pocket Kings again. On Hand #11 he cracks someone's pocket Aces with his flopped nut straight. By 10:39pm ET, less than 40 minutes in to the tournament, Astin has shown his fourth pocket Kings. He did claim in the chat that he had been dealt no pocket Aces at all to that point though, poor guy! Can you imagine? No AA in 39 minutes in a big blonkament? How do some people do it? In all seriousness though, congratulations out to Astin who rode all those pocket pairs to the huge last-minute victory to play his way in to the ToC in addition to $1242 cash money. His heads-up battle with Maudie was one for the ages, with both players seesawing into 3-or 4-to-1 chip leads at one point before Astin powered back into the lead for the last time with K3 vs J3 on a 932 flop or some shit like that. He then made a huge call of Maudie's allin reraise preflop with his QJo, and when Maudie flipped up 44, Astin proceeded to cap off his big night by turning a straight to nab the win. It was super fun to watch and I personally am really fucking happy for the guy who has been the runner-up so many times in the BBTwo and finally gets his chance to be the big kahuna. Just awesome.

Speaking of the Big Game, I also watched a blogger call an allin rerereraise preflop with AQo maybe 7 minutes in. Of course this blogger is up against the only donkey in history who rerereraises preflop with A2, and of course it's a Queen on the flop and the blogger doubles early. I'm sure I'll read all about the "read" on that hand. Actually, I won't because I won't be reading anything about that performance. Suffice it to say, it is just about the most shining example of bad, lucksacky tournament poker that I could come up with without seeing it myself. Eight fucking minutes in to a tournament that everybody who hasn't yet won a ToC seat wants to win, and you're calling an allin rerereraise with AQo. Good stuff. And then of course there were the donkorific "nice hand" comments in the chat. Nice hand? Nice hand? The last thing this person needs is a yes-man saying nice hand after a play like that. To people who don't show a lot of introspection about their game, yes-men are the worst possible thing. And coupled with everything else I had going on already on Sunday, this business was seriously more than my fragile psyche could take.

Meanwhile, I also played in Chad's Blogger Skill Game. Sadly this turned out to be anything but. I can't stand the way that in any limit of HORSE I've ever played, people will just stay in and draw with anything all the way to the river. I often joke how you would need to raise the limits up to $50,000 - $100,000 to get people to play the game like they should, and I think I'm right. For a lousy $30 buyin, someone chased a flush early, calling bets on three streets against me before hitting on 7th to take a fifth of my stack after I played perfectly and the other guy played assily. Then a few minutes later I made two low pairs on 4th street in stud hi, so I had to bet out every street. Someone called the whole way with just one high pair, and hit a second pair on the river. By the time I made the nut flush on sixth street in stud hi -- all three of these gheyass hands occurring within the first 25 minutes of the tournament, mind you -- and lost to another player's full house, I was completely over the edge and lost all control.

What does that mean, that I "lost all control", you ask? Well, it's simple. In the Big Game, I called an allin on the flop against a big stack when I held nothing at all, knowng I was heading to the rail. I had the window shut long before even seeing the flop, and I felt better instantly. In the "skill game", I autobet and autoraised just about every hand I could possibly get away with in every game, taking all of 13 minutes to purposefully donk from 3600 chips to out to bust as gigli in the first ever game of this type. I'm sure there will be more of these HORSE events, and frankly I think it's a great idea, but as I write this I have to say it feels like I will not be playing blogger HORSE again anytime soon. Not for this buyin anyways. When you're ready to start up a 100k buyin HORSE blonkament, someone please let me know. Edit: at least somebody with some actual skills ended up winning this event, as Chad busted out with the victory in his inaugural HORSE tournament, so congratualtions to him as he somehow overcame what had to be a 10-to-1 chip deficit when heads-up play began and I decided to hit the sack.

So anyways, how many of you out there can honestly say that you've 100% purposefully donked off a $75 buyin and a $30 buyin over the span of 15 minutes just because you knew, knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would be happier not to be playing? My guess is not many. Some, maybe, but not many. And you know what? I was right! I mean, within seconds of closing out those two games, my tilt began to recede and my mood started to improve. I had just gotten myself all out of whack due to a bunch of different things I had the misfortune of seeing, and my lack of ability to compartmentalize these things instead of letting them overtake my emotions. And turning off the pc was the smartest, most +EV thing (mentally and financially) I could have done when I did on Sunday -- trust me on that one.

I actually need to get better at sometimes just turning off the poker and moving on to something else that makes me happy. That much is obvious. Last night my "happy place" was watching the finale of "Dexter" with Hammer Wife -- easily the best show this year that no one has ever heard of. The finale wasn't quite as good as the last few episodes IMO, but that is more a commentary on how awesome this show got near the end than on the badness of the finale, which was really very well done and enjoyable and tied up all the good loose ends as the second season came to a close. So after poker to cool down I watched "Dexter", and I played a bunch with my new toy -- the Sprint HTC Touch phone. This is something I picked up on Friday, and the thing just blows me away. Not only will it help me to blog from right under my dorkwork's collective noses, but the shit has everything -- music, email, high-speed internet, touch screen, finger-scrolling, TV, and oh yeah, it's actually a phone too! I'm sure I'll write more about this one day soon, but for now suffice it to say that it was Dexter Morgan and my HTC that helped me to get over my funk on Sunday night, and to get me ready to face the online poker world again on Monday for the first non-BBTwo tournament I've held in quite some time:

Tonight's MATH will be BBT-free, a nice change for me and I know several of my blogger friends who grow tired of the constant scoring and so much riding on the performances in each. And tonight again we will be playing 6-max no-limit holdem, $26 buyin, password as always is "hammer". 10pm ET on full tilt. See you then as I try to start a new week at the virtual tables the way I've ended the past few, on a nice winning streak, and tilt-free at that. Whatever you all can do to help me on that front will be much appreciated. Including calling allin rerereraises preflop just 8 minutes in with AQo. Please give me summa that if at all possible.

See you tonight for Mondays at the Hoy on full tilt!!

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Blogger lj said...

woo hoo, i got a shout out on hoy's blog. sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

sadly i won't be around to call all in 5 bets w/ AQ, but you certainly left out some context -- we were more than 7 minutes in, the guy had re-raised me earlier, and when i 3-bet he folded, he was obv getting pissed off at me and in the hand you're discussing we were blind v. blind. sure, there is always a chance that he wakes up w/ a big pp in the bb, but the way he'd been playing i was not at all surprised that he flipped over A2. thanks for the props!

also, thanks for calling my 3x pf raise w/ A5 soooted and then calling off all your chips w/ bottom pair when i had KK. not sure how you shut the window before seeing the flop when you called the all in post-flop, but silly details.

sorry you were tilting, but i guess your loss was my gain.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Chad C said...

Poker is ghey, thank god BBT is over :) I suggest a vacation from bloggaments if I were you! There might be 10 people in a "non-bbt" xmas eve and new years eve MATH right?

10:43 PM  
Blogger lightning36 said...

I've been working on my discipline of not playing when I really don't feel like it. Last night, for example -- I was exhausted after shoveling snow and doing a hundred other tasks, and was watching the Survivor finale. I was registered in The Big Game, but then thought, "Am I really into playing balls to the wall poker tonight - with one TOC spot left?" Sadly, the answer was no, but I actually made a good decision and bailed out right before the start.

Hoy -- are you sometimes playing when you are not really at the level of intensity needed??

10:43 PM  
Blogger lucko said...

Do you make up half these posts or is your memory really this bad?

11:02 PM  
Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage said...

What skill game?

11:21 PM  
Blogger Blinders said...

lol, as usual. Not to many people this proud to donk out of two decent buy-ins on purpose. You need to take a break from poker before you go postal on sombody holding AQ or AJ.

BTW, jamming A2 preflop is so much worse than calling an all-in with AQ. Not sure why you chose to rip on the caller in this case, who was spot on, vs. A2 which is way, way out of line.

11:53 PM  
Blogger TripJax said...

I'd be interested to hear more about your new phone...I've been looking at the Alltel equivalent to the HTC Touch and might just have to look a little closer now that you are giving it props.

Benching Brady was genius in my book. Everyone says you must play your studs, but sometimes - on rare occasions - you just gotta go with your gut...and the news. The weather was going to play enough of a factor that they would vamp up the run game, so it was to be expected that his points would be down. Anyone that thought they would score 50 - 100yesterday was terarded. It's not like he benched Brady for Miami's Lemon or something. He benched Brady in bad weather and played Favre in clear weather. Lets not forget Favre is setting records, plays well in any kind of weather and is having a killer season. I admit he is no Brady, but this week, it made sense.

It helps that I've had Favre all year and I played the #1 seed this week who had Brady and Moss on his teams. Woot!

12:41 AM  
Blogger bayne_s said...

Have to agree with Trip that decision to play Favre playing in dome vs. Brady in a snowstorm has a sound basis.

I too had a "wtf moment" when I saw that 7 minutes into a superstack I saw an AQo vs. A2o all in pre. QUestion I have is why do you let that bother you?

I am pretty sure on your exit hand LJ bet flop at you, you raised with bottom pair top kicker and LJ jammed. I guess if she has AQ again you're a big favorite but there were a lot of overpairs she could have had as well.

12:57 AM  
Blogger Iak said...

Dexter is tha shiyat.

BigGame Gigli = Astin's Bitch = I'm surprised I didn't murder a child. Glad he won with it though, he's a good dude.

Lastly, as much as this post got me laughing, lucko's comment is one for the ages.

1:18 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

LOL @ Hoy editing his post after the fact. Too fucking funny.

Biggest donk play in that tournament was Hoy's and its not even remotely close. It does take some balls to bash someone else play after that.

1:27 AM  
Blogger Chad C said...

That's a bold statement Lucko.... I think making a tilt move is somewhat excusable as everyone is guilty of that. Even you have tilt spewed on more than one occasion surely. Everyone has a different level of tilt and I can see how watching AQ vs A2 all in with 100+ BBs in each stack could tilt someone. I don't care who called, who shoved, etc. it was just bad poker and it could tilt a lot of people. I can see how it would be frustrating if you came into the tournament with the idea that there would somehow be post deep stack, post flop tournament poker played in a bloggament. Of course we all know that this is not possible, but even I dream of that sometimes and get pissed when I see things! That said, clearly there is no reason to let this effect you to the point where you spew monkey chips off to anyone. But I have done it, and I am sure many others have as well. So saying his "play" was the worst is kind of bold considering he was obviously tilting. I made a HORRIBLE play at the end running a blind stop n go on ASTIN of all people! I really expected Astin to fold third pair on a draw heavy flop! That was the WORST play of the entire tournament bar none!!!!

1:49 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

I don't think it is that bold at all. Someone post the actual hand histories instead of retarded recaps with made up details and let people see them (and there are made up details on here). I am thinking A5 wins. It was pretty stunningly bad.

Saying he was tilting is just an excuse. It doesn't change the play. Not saying I haven't tilted, but his play was MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than the one he bashed. Its not even remotely close. Plus it cost me $20.

And great call by Astin on your hand btw, pretty sure I call you there Ace high. Thought ur analysis of his call was pretty terrible btw.

I am having a fun day, anyone else?

2:17 AM  
Blogger Irongirl01 said...

I watched all the hands you discussed from the Rail while chatting with Don on the girly chat. I had three tables up. I had lost track of the number of pocket Kings Astin was dealt. I thought it uncharacteristic of you to call off your stack with A5C vs LJ, I wasnt sure if you just didnt believe her or were on some kind of tilt. You were awful quiet as far as activity goes. I then noticed your early demise from the skill game and figured something was up. I saw some pretty crazy questionable moves myself. Nice sitting from the rail and taking notes.

2:27 AM  
Blogger Chad C said...

Why are you so worked up about this lucko? I do not remember you ever being this worked up about a bloggament ever. I am just not recalling you EVER being involved in one of these conversations, I could be wrong though. I am not sure to what we owe this pleasure, but I like it! Too bad BBTwo is almost over, it is cool to see a bigger poker ego than MY OWN :)

2:33 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

Pretty sure I was brought into this by Hoy, just not by name. The retardness and me having a shitty day IRL has put me on tilt.

2:40 AM  
Blogger 4dbirds said...

Didn't you love it when he killed Lila? Didn't even give her the respect of the ritual. Just effing stabbed her. LOL.

2:45 AM  
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Lucko, I think I have enjoyed these comments today as much as you. But I did not in any way intend to "bring you in" to anything. I was merely expressing my genuine surprise and confusion -- that still exists btw -- about your compliment on the way that AQ hand was played, as surely you would not play AQ in that way in that spot in any tournament you cared about winning (not a question). That's all I was getting at. But to be honest I didn't mean to be questioning what you said so much as the blind acceptance of it by the person to whom it was said. My admittedly totally unsolicited opinion is that that person would be much better served by an "lol" than by a "nh". Not that I get to decide how anyone comments to anyone else at any poker table, but I will not deny being very confused by your comment in the chatbox in that spot. A lot of people were confused.

Btw not sure why my donkplay has taken on such focus here today. As I wrote about today, I fully recognized then and there and I still recognize now that I was just tilting out of the tournament on a horrible play. It's nowhere near the first time and I'm sure not the last -- we've discussed some other tiltplays by me before and it's something I am guilty of from time to time. But I knew then and I know now how horrible my play was with no hesitation, and you will note a complete lack of defense of the play in any way by me here today. Personally my surprise is much more focused on the continued defense of the AQ hand today near the top of these comments.

5:11 AM  
Blogger Drizztdj said...

I heart the internets.

5:20 AM  
Blogger lj said...

i have a name, at least have the balls to use it if you're going to trash my play. i'm sure this won't be the last time, so next time man up.

6:07 AM  
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

For some reason I think LJ's explanation on the hand makes perfect poker sense.. if that is a condemnation of her play I will let you decide. I can see plenty of places I would call off all my chips with AQ and would not say it was horrible as a blanket statement. Now if she could explain the J9 hand.. LMAO.

6:31 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

Seriously Hoy, are you a drug addict? Were you drunk? Alzheimer's? If none of those, I am not sure where you come up with this shit:

"Not that I get to decide how anyone comments to anyone else at any poker table, but I will not deny being very confused by your comment in the chatbox in that spot. A lot of people were confused."

Pretty sure I never said "nh" in the chat box. Not sure how a lot of people were confused about something that you made up and didn't happen.

My respect is dropping rapidly.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Chad C said...

Please blogger gods, do not let this post get buried or deleted!! Gold, pure gold!!!

10:45 PM  
Blogger lucko said...

Hey Chad, looks like we finally agree on one thing here, this comment thread is def gold! I blame me.

11:37 PM  
Blogger BWoP said...

This cracks me up.

Even funnier. Of the three recent posts that are tagged Bad Play by Bloggers, the last two are about girls.

Does Hoy hate girls?

Oh, and both times, he does not mention name of girl whose play is in question, but for some reason, he does mention name when it was Skidoo.

Maybe girls don't have names in the Land of Hoy.

11:45 PM  
Blogger Chad C said...

Are you friggin serious? HOY has busted balls in this blog since 1984!!! That's what makes this thread THE GREATEST THREAD EVER!! Because the one time he busts a girls chops all the nerds come out in full force to protect her!! Do you have any idea how many "nameless" people HOY has bashed over the years? Go through the archives!!! The blogger community has turned into a vicious love triangle, a soap opera, "Days of our blogger lives" if you will........ This is so much fun to observe!!!

12:36 AM  
Blogger lucko said...

I was namelessly bashed in this post too, just saying.

12:54 AM  
Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage said...

Holy cow... The comments are freakin hilarious. Chad... LMAO

Seriously though, like he said, PURE GOLD. Keep it up everyone!

1:12 AM  
Blogger Julius_Goat said...

So . . . what'd I miss?

1:16 AM  
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

I feel bad posting a new post on top of this one to keep the comment thread from growing. Sadly that is about to happen.

Thanks for the entertainment everyone.

And yes I am a drug addict, obviously. Not sure what that has to do with this post, but....

And bwop is right, I only ever bash "girls" on this blog. That might be the only thing more outlandish than Lucko claiming not to have said "nh" after the AQ hand.

1:36 AM  
Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Hoy, don't do it. This thread is priceless. Your next post can't possibly live up to the greatness of this comment thread.

1:37 AM  
Blogger BWoP said...

I never said you only bash girls. Just like lucko never said nh.

I was just noting a recent theme in nameless blogger bashing (i.e., last two were girls, both of whom were not named).

Reading is FUN-damental.

Can someone just recreate the comments in a new post, and everyone can comment on that?

1:47 AM  
Blogger Fuel55 said...

Thanks for the referral back to these comments - classic stuff.

All blogger events should be $200+$16 from now on. Then people might play "correctly" on a regular basis.

3:08 AM  
Blogger Schaubs said...

"Days of our blogger lives"


So true.

4:15 AM  
Blogger Mondogarage said...

"All blogger events should be $200+$16 from now on. Then people might play 'correctly' on a regular basis."

And most blogger events would be 6-max single table SNGs. ;-)

I wasn't around that night, but reading LJ's explanation makes the play actually make some sense, but only if you trust your read 100%. Was it rather lagtard loose...well, yeah, but it was thought out, well reasoned, and considered.

But I've seen countless worse plays every day -- nothing about that read and play in that circumstance merits the bashing.

However, I thank you all for Gold, Jerry, Gold today.

6:36 AM  
Blogger Wwonka said...

Wow LJ makes a Questionable call early in a Blogger Tourney again. Shocker it isn't.

Drop the Hammer

8:30 AM  
Blogger 23skidoo said...

Sweet I got mentioned in an epic Hoy comment thread!!

I have patented the donk move vs hoy in too many spots to recall which is why he has been compelled to even mention me. It's a source of pride.

Or maybe I play like a girl!??!?

I'll be in NY sometime next month wink wink.


11:02 PM  
Blogger Joe-Unimpressed said...

This is the BEST blog ever!

10:31 PM  
Blogger Schaubs said...

Ok so wait, all the comments still show here?

You are smrt.

11:36 PM  

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