Saturday, May 09, 2009

Et Tu, Manny?

With Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez now banned for 50 games for violating Major League Baseball's substance abuse and treatment policy, let the subterfuge and deception begin. For Manny's part, here was his statement to just put the whole thing behind him and move on:

"Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons. I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about this whole situation."

Mmm hmmm.

OK, let's see, what else do we know about this situation? Oh yeah -- it turns out that testing by Major League Baseball showed that Ramirez had artificial testosterone in his body, in addition to the female fertility drug human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCG.

I see. So what's that, Manny? Your doctor accidentally prescribed you a female fertility drug. I guess youR "personal health issue" involved you telling your doctor you were just curious to see if you could get pregnant? Develop bitch tits? Grow you some ovaries?

Give me a break. It's common knowledge that hCG is typically used in conjunction with steroids to restart the body's natural testosterone production at the end of a steroid cycle. Those of you familiar with fertility treatments will note that hCG is very similar to Clomid, the drug that Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO.

I was just thinking, who are the best hitters of the current generation? I'm talking about the best pure producers at the plate. Let me just throw out some names here: Barry Bonds. Alex Rodriguez. Mark McGwire. Sammy Sosa. And now Manny Ramirez.

If you have a son, or a daughter who is heavily into baseball, there is no doubt that he or she has identified with, purchased the jersey of, and/or wanted to be one or more of the above five baseball players over the past 10 years of their life. And you know what? Those guys are all scumbag cheating liars. They are no better than the New England Cheatriots in football, or the multi-accounters who create multiple accounts on full tilt to get rakeback and profit at the expense of those who follow the rules. They are cheating the game, cheating the fans, and cheating themselves.

And anybody -- and I do mean anybody -- who still thinks Albert Pujols is clean? I say you are a fucking idiot. Flat out, you're an ass. And when Pujols hears this kind of stuff in the media, on the internet, whispered among friends, he's an even bigger ass if he gets mad at those people for saying these things without proof. Pujols should be mad -- but not at me. He should be pissed -- furious -- at his fellow players. They're the ones who have created this situation where now Pujols isn't just suspected of using -- he used, plain and simple.

Deny it if you want, but this is no court of law. I don't have to follow any rules when I accuse someone of something, and I don't need to treat anyone as innocent until proven guilty. In my book, I don't need to see him, I don't need to talk to him, and I don't need to hear any arguments. Pujols is as dirty as the rest of em.

And I wonder: who's the best "clean" hitter in baseball today?

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4 Comments:

Blogger Astin said...

It's a shame Griffey was injured so often. He was the ideal the small-guy hitter in his prime, and could have stood for a clean performer.

At least, I don't recall his hat size increasing overnight or him bulking up to Hulk-size.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

With all of his repeated, freak injuries, I would lay the odds around 85% that Junior also used at some point in his career.

These people are all pigs. If they played on full tilt, they would have three accounts.

4:09 AM  
Blogger Drizztdj said...

Best clean hitter, or best clean power hitter?

Hitter = Joe Mauer

Power hitter = Ryan Howard with Braun from the Brewers not far behind.

8:21 PM  
Blogger l.e.s.ter said...

Nick Markakis.

10:56 PM  

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